Paid for by: The Wretched hands of global capitalism and Kevin

Editor-in-Chief: Eshaan Joshi

All the news unfit to print!

Pitch meetings Sat 5:00 pm, DH-1211

Issues Archive

Vol 5

Issue 3

the issue in which we consider how much easier it would be to sell our souls

Issue 2

the issue in which we celebrate the greatest human tradition of them all

Issue 1

the issue in which we make a multi-million dollar purchase for our entertainment empire

Vol 4

Issue 7

the issue in which we realize that the academic comeback may no longer be possible

Issue 6

the issue in which we issue the issue in which we issue the issue in which we issue the issue in which we issue

Issue 5

the issue in which we promise you that our alibi holds up under scrutiny

Issue 4

the issue in which we figure out what on earth we did last night

Issue 3

the issue in which we try to figure out the FCEs of deployment

Issue 2

the issue in which we take a brief but thorough look at our history

Issue 1

the issue in which the student population realizes that it could always be worse

Issue 0

the issue in which we imagine the average CMU student happy

Vol 3

Issue 7

the issue in which we do our very best to come across sober when talking to the cops

Issue 6

the issue in which we give our honest and unbiased opinions on various things we were paid to talk about

Issue 5

the issue in which we pretend that we paid attention in Hebrew school

Issue 4

the issue in which we try to find our passports and go on a fun, European vacation.

Issue 3

the issue in which we watch our publication grow up and find someone to love.

Issue 2

the issue in which we give the reader tips and tricks for a comfortable and welcoming home.

Issue 1

the issue in which we all find ourselves back in this special corner of hell.

Vol 2

Issue 8

the issue in which readme realizes the true meaning of Christmas

Issue 7

the issue in which readme tries to calculate the lowest possible finals grade they need to pass

Issue 6

the issue in which readme considers the buyout of infowars to be an opportunity for expansion

Issue 5

the issue in which readme loses its license and carries on regardless

Issue 4

the issue in which readme gets cancelled for holding all of the wrong opinions

Issue 3

the issue in which the treasury is emptied and this fine magazine finally goes bankrupt

Issue 2

the issue in which the writing staff of this fine publication choose to exercise their rights

Issue 1

the issue in which we reveal the dark and seedy underbelly of Carnegie's finest publication

Issue 0

the issue in which we initiate the freshmen to our storied traditions

Vol 1

Issue 6

the issue in which we discuss the merits and downsides of severe alcohol poisoning

Issue 5

the issue in which we start investigating the strange happenings

Issue 4

the issue in which we turn readme into a weapon of mass destruction

Issue 3

the issue in which we say "yeah science bitch" and prove we deserve our degrees

Issue 2

the issue in which we notate the complete collapse of this fine school

Issue 1

the issue in which readme gets off of double secret probation