CMU History Dept. buys new textbooks with oddly attractive pictures of Andrew Carnegie • Gelt still more real than crypto • POLLS: President May Be Elected • Women breaking glass ceiling suffering head lacerations • The nutritional benefits of eating this newspaper • My Professor Had One Comment After Viewing My Final Project: “This Sucks” • In shocking news, 112 grading party turns into a freeforall as TAs fight for last slices of cold pizza • Student spends 7 hours working up the courage to make a phone call, recipient doesn't answer • OPINION: First, it was a Masters. Now, you need a Ph.D. before they let you fuck the computers • Sweepstakes Chair bans buggy-driving amputees, claiming they have competitive advantage • What linear algebra can teach you about your parent’s sex lives • USNews names CMU number 1 school named after Andrew Carnegie and Andrew Mellon for the 125th year in a row • I'm not going to do it, but it would be SO easy to kill my roommate, several report • Wildlife conservation group takes "CMU English Major" off of endangered species list following recordsetting 7 students enrolled • Athletes warm up by walking both ways uphill through Pittsburgh • "My Cute Next-Door Neighbor Believes in WHAT?": Quirky new meet-cute sitcom coming this summer • Reindeer waste on Epstein Island raises concerns • Report: Voices in your head usually correct, studies show • "Surely this one will work," says student on sixth cup of coffee • "It's not imposter syndrome, we did admit you as a mistake" admissions office admits • Loving Couple LARP as bitter, nearly-separated divorcees • Biology department recommends students engineer another pandemic for finals reprieve, extra credit offered • Having a single thought about 15-122 now considered an AIV • Top scientists suggest ReadMe will generate an original joke by 2030 • Can President Joe Biden please presidentially pardon my AIV? • 3D Printer Crushed by Anvil, Now Regular Printer • Dog doesn't solve relationship, couple moves on to children • November 4th is coming up and it's giving me an election • Rabbi hot?! • Novel studies demonstrate that drinking water and eating food are good for you, pulling all nighters and shotgunning Celsius are bad • Programmer forgets to specify; throws a birthday ksh • “I have no way of knowing”, says person who could very easily look it up • Californians Sigh in Relief as CMU Students Return to Campus • How to Increase your home's retail value by NOT murdering people in it • Club snipes channels are starting to become real passive aggressive • Student with childhood autism diagnosis excitedly awaits instant personality change upon turning 18 • Buzzfeed.com: Top 10 Times you looked in the mirror and saw your mother’s face and asked yourself if you’re doomed to repeat your parents mistakes • Due to inflation, 11th man required for Minyan • How to send more risqué texts to your 9th grade biology teacher • README Purchases Scottish Terrier Mascot • CMU History Dept. buys new textbooks with oddly attractive pictures of Andrew Carnegie • Gelt still more real than crypto. • POLLS: President May Be Elected • Women breaking glass ceiling suffering head lacerations • The nutritional benefits of eating this newspaper • My Professor Had One Comment After Viewing My Final Project: “This Sucks” • In shocking news, 112 grading party turns into a freeforall as TAs fight for last slices of cold pizza • Student spends 7 hours working up the courage to make a phone call, recipient doesn't answer • OPINION: First, it was a Masters. Now, you need a Ph.D. before they let you fuck the computers. • Sweepstakes Chair bans buggy-driving amputees, claiming they have competitive advantage • What linear algebra can teach you about your parent’s sex lives. • USNews names CMU number 1 school named after Andrew Carnegie and Andrew Mellon for the 125th year in a row • I'm not going to do it, but it would be SO easy to kill my roommate, several report. • Wildlife conservation group takes "CMU English Major" off of endangered species list following recordsetting 7 students enrolled • Athletes warm up by walking both ways uphill through Pittsburgh • "My Cute Next-Door Neighbor Believes in WHAT?": Quirky new meet-cute sitcom coming this summer. • Reindeer waste on Epstein Island raises concerns. • Report: Voices in your head usually correct, studies show. • "Surely this one will work," says student on sixth cup of coffee. • "It's not imposter syndrome, we did admit you as a mistake" admissions office admits • Loving Couple LARP as bitter, nearly-separated divorcees • Biology department recommends students engineer another pandemic for finals reprieve, extra credit offered • Having a single thought about 15-122 now considered an AIV • Top scientists suggest ReadMe will generate an original joke by 2030. • Can President Joe Biden please presidentially pardon my AIV? • 3D Printer Crushed by Anvil, Now Regular Printer • Dog doesn't solve relationship, couple moves on to children. • November 4th is coming up and it's giving me an election. • Rabbi hot?! • Novel studies demonstrate that drinking water and eating food are good for you, pulling all nighters and shotgunning Celsius are bad. • Programmer forgets to specify; throws a birthday ksh. • “I have no way of knowing”, says person who could very easily look it up • Californians Sigh in Relief as CMU Students Return to Campus. • How to Increase your home's retail value by NOT murdering people in it. • Club snipes channels are starting to become real passive aggressive. • Student with childhood autism diagnosis excitedly awaits instant personality change upon turning 18. • Buzzfeed.com: Top 10 Times you looked in the mirror and saw your mother’s face and asked yourself if you’re doomed to repeat your parents mistakes. • Due to inflation, 11th man required for Minyan • How to send more risqué texts to your 9th grade biology teacher • README Purchases Scottish Terrier Mascot.
![A comic. The first two panels show a woman sighing and looking out a window toward a silhouetted couple holding hands under an umbrella. "Will I ever find love?" the third panel questions. Panel four shows two people holding hands in chair desks, and they're texting hearts back and forth in panel five. In panels six and seven the woman reads a copy of "readme falls in love," then concluedes, "no, probably not." [I really like this comic :-) - rtosh]](/media/vol3/issue3/images/lovecomic_ji67hZE.jpg)
