Readme Wins Gold

I'm not going to do it, but it would be SO easy to kill my roommate, several report • In catastrophic scheduling snafu, every club at CMU has scheduled a meeting for the exact same time and date; "we really couldn't have predicted this", says student who scheduled a GBM for 5 pm on a Monday • CIT student's "new kicks" deemed "too swag" by the administration • CPS intervenes after a drunken Big Pharma beats Little Pharma • Coca Cola rebrands to Methamphina Cola, claims no ingredient changes • SLICE defends university­-sanctioned orgies • My strong opinions on the Middle East - an essay • King Solomon Attempts to divide up twins, mother requests they're both cut in half • How I stopped worrying and learned to love the dorm shower mold • Architectures, Civil Engineers meet to discuss making Carnegie Mellon infrastructure even more unfriendly • Can President Joe Biden please presidentially pardon my AIV? • Future generation invents pants that are baggy in six new dimensions • Actual fire in Morewood; No one leaves this time • Student with childhood autism diagnosis excitedly awaits instant personality change upon turning 18 • Californians Sigh in Relief as CMU Students Return to Campus • CS Senior devastated that he must complete Masters to finally fuck computer • Amid mental health crisis, Google image searches for “scary werewolf” outnumber searches for “silly dog” • Student Senate elections held, "who?" found to be most common response • 10 ways to avoid getting embroiled in a pedophillia scandal, #6 will shock you! • CMU student lives in a barrel, claims it's better than first year housing • Dennis Prager won’t stop impregnating our country’s petite gay men causing national twink shortage • Rope and stool salesmen loitering outside particularly difficult finals • Oops! All Eugenics! Student accidentally argues for eugenics during ethics class for seventeenth time this week • UN rejects Readme bit for diplomatic immunity • "1929 will be my year" ­ says man who invested all his money into Wall Street • Dreamworks newest IP revealed: "How to train your LLM" • What you need to know about the upcoming resting bitch face competition • I walked to the sky and all I got was this lousy T-shirt • You could be sledding right now, but you're not • Is that Nazi salute or is Elon Musk just happy to see me? • We lowballed our CMU tuition on Facebook Marketplace • Top ten reels from the five hundred that you still haven't responded to • Admin continues to insist that you can't spell anything else with the letters C, M, and U • CMU kills suspected 122 cheater in targeted strike; 18 civilians dead • Tucker Carlson finally proposes to Green M&M • "What do you mean they don't know the difference between wet layup and prepreg?" CMU students shocked by lackluster carbon fiber fabrication knowledge of average person • QUIZ: What your opinions on the scrotal asmmetry of statues says about you! • Kilties go on strike, now only wear normal hats • Student Senate Elections Board excited to see more students than ever interesting in voting them out • Santa is proud of you, even if no one else is • I'm not going to do it, but it would be SO easy to kill my roommate, several report. • In catastrophic scheduling snafu, every club at CMU has scheduled a meeting for the exact same time and date; "we really couldn't have predicted this", says student who scheduled a GBM for 5 pm on a Monday. • CIT student's "new kicks" deemed "too swag" by the administration • CPS intervenes after a drunken Big Pharma beats Little Pharma • Coca Cola rebrands to Methamphina Cola, claims no ingredient changes. • SLICE defends university­-sanctioned orgies • My strong opinions on the Middle East - an essay. • King Solomon Attempts to divide up twins, mother requests they're both cut in half. • How I stopped worrying and learned to love the dorm shower mold. • Architectures, Civil Engineers meet to discuss making Carnegie Mellon infrastructure even more unfriendly • Can President Joe Biden please presidentially pardon my AIV? • Future generation invents pants that are baggy in six new dimensions • Actual fire in Morewood; No one leaves this time. • Student with childhood autism diagnosis excitedly awaits instant personality change upon turning 18. • Californians Sigh in Relief as CMU Students Return to Campus. • CS Senior devastated that he must complete Masters to finally fuck computer • Amid mental health crisis, Google image searches for “scary werewolf” outnumber searches for “silly dog” • Student Senate elections held, "who?" found to be most common response • 10 ways to avoid getting embroiled in a pedophillia scandal, #6 will shock you! • CMU student lives in a barrel, claims it's better than first year housing • Dennis Prager won’t stop impregnating our country’s petite gay men causing national twink shortage • Rope and stool salesmen loitering outside particularly difficult finals • Oops! All Eugenics! Student accidentally argues for eugenics during ethics class for seventeenth time this week • UN rejects Readme bit for diplomatic immunity. • "1929 will be my year" ­ says man who invested all his money into Wall Street. • Dreamworks newest IP revealed: "How to train your LLM". • What you need to know about the upcoming resting bitch face competition • I walked to the sky and all I got was this lousy T-shirt • You could be sledding right now, but you're not. • Is that Nazi salute or is Elon Musk just happy to see me? • We lowballed our CMU tuition on Facebook Marketplace • Top ten reels from the five hundred that you still haven't responded to • Admin continues to insist that you can't spell anything else with the letters C, M, and U. • CMU kills suspected 122 cheater in targeted strike; 18 civilians dead. • Tucker Carlson finally proposes to Green M&M. • "What do you mean they don't know the difference between wet layup and prepreg?" CMU students shocked by lackluster carbon fiber fabrication knowledge of average person. • QUIZ: What your opinions on the scrotal asmmetry of statues says about you! • Kilties go on strike, now only wear normal hats • Student Senate Elections Board excited to see more students than ever interesting in voting them out • Santa is proud of you, even if no one else is.