Are you tired of being normal? I'm not, so fuck you! • Having a single thought about 15-122 now considered an AIV • “Surely the balloon animal guy will fix this schools mental health problems” says CMU admin for the fifth time this semester • OPINION: I want everyone to be happy, except my favorite musicians • I'm not going to do it, but it would be SO easy to kill my roommate, several report • “I’ve been conducting for 17 years straight now,” says former Eurhythmics student. “I’ve seen God, and she breathes at 62 bpm” • CMU Physics rises to #1 worldwide following particle accelerator heist • OPINION: First, it was a Masters. Now, you need a Ph.D. before they let you fuck the computers • DeviantArt, Conservapedia, and Other Websites We Don't Know Why We're Tagged In • Wildlife conservation group takes "CMU English Major" off of endangered species list following recordsetting 7 students enrolled • Young men increasingly feeling that having a Borat impression counts as a personality Report • CMU endorses homelessness as a viable solution to rising competition in on-campus housing • What you need to know about the upcoming resting bitch face competition • Is that Nazi salute or is Elon Musk just happy to see me? • Classic 90s songs we've all forgotten: 1. I Just Got An Abortion (And It Felt So Good) • You could be sledding right now, but you're not • Chemistry majors disappointed to learn their degree does not come with a "license to kill" • New fraternity party house indistinguishable from background to ISIS execution video • Carnegie Mellon police to be given tank to deal with unruly freshmen • It's not blood libel, it's just a better skin care routine • President's Advisory Board on Student Well-Being, Mental Health, and the Academic Experience releases first report: "It's bad." • RA finds Olympic torch during room check • Report: Voices in your head usually correct, studies show • Mom if I find the afikomen can I have my turn on the space laser • USNews names CMU number 1 school named after Andrew Carnegie and Andrew Mellon for the 125th year in a row • Carnegie Mellon color no longer the concept of plaid • What linear algebra can teach you about your parent’s sex lives • The existential horror of nap time: A retrospective • Novel studies demonstrate that drinking water and eating food are good for you, pulling all nighters and shotgunning Celsius are bad • Booth Chairs and School of Drama compete to see who can violate the most labor laws • "Surely the middle eastern conflict will not get worse" says increasingly nervous man for 100th time today • Rabbi hot?! • SDC buggy design leaked on War Thunder forum • Stupid fucking egg sits on wall, rolls off like a little dumbass bitch • New CaPS meeting locations include ledges, bridges, and intersections • American Study-Abroad Program expands school shootings worldwide • Mrs. Claus revealed to actually be Amy Schumer • Dreamworks newest IP revealed: "How to train your LLM" • Air Force officer gets 15 years for leaking NORAD Santa Tracker • Gelt still more real than crypto • Are you tired of being normal? I'm not, so fuck you! • Having a single thought about 15-122 now considered an AIV • “Surely the balloon animal guy will fix this schools mental health problems” says CMU admin for the fifth time this semester. • OPINION: I want everyone to be happy, except my favorite musicians • I'm not going to do it, but it would be SO easy to kill my roommate, several report. • “I’ve been conducting for 17 years straight now,” says former Eurhythmics student. “I’ve seen God, and she breathes at 62 bpm” • CMU Physics rises to #1 worldwide following particle accelerator heist. • OPINION: First, it was a Masters. Now, you need a Ph.D. before they let you fuck the computers. • DeviantArt, Conservapedia, and Other Websites We Don't Know Why We're Tagged In • Wildlife conservation group takes "CMU English Major" off of endangered species list following recordsetting 7 students enrolled • Young men increasingly feeling that having a Borat impression counts as a personality Report • CMU endorses homelessness as a viable solution to rising competition in on-campus housing • What you need to know about the upcoming resting bitch face competition • Is that Nazi salute or is Elon Musk just happy to see me? • Classic 90s songs we've all forgotten: 1. I Just Got An Abortion (And It Felt So Good) • You could be sledding right now, but you're not. • Chemistry majors disappointed to learn their degree does not come with a "license to kill" • New fraternity party house indistinguishable from background to ISIS execution video • Carnegie Mellon police to be given tank to deal with unruly freshmen. • It's not blood libel, it's just a better skin care routine. • President's Advisory Board on Student Well-Being, Mental Health, and the Academic Experience releases first report: "It's bad." • RA finds Olympic torch during room check • Report: Voices in your head usually correct, studies show. • Mom if I find the afikomen can I have my turn on the space laser. • USNews names CMU number 1 school named after Andrew Carnegie and Andrew Mellon for the 125th year in a row • Carnegie Mellon color no longer the concept of plaid • What linear algebra can teach you about your parent’s sex lives. • The existential horror of nap time: A retrospective • Novel studies demonstrate that drinking water and eating food are good for you, pulling all nighters and shotgunning Celsius are bad. • Booth Chairs and School of Drama compete to see who can violate the most labor laws • "Surely the middle eastern conflict will not get worse" says increasingly nervous man for 100th time today • Rabbi hot?! • SDC buggy design leaked on War Thunder forum. • Stupid fucking egg sits on wall, rolls off like a little dumbass bitch • New CaPS meeting locations include ledges, bridges, and intersections • American Study-Abroad Program expands school shootings worldwide. • Mrs. Claus revealed to actually be Amy Schumer • Dreamworks newest IP revealed: "How to train your LLM". • Air Force officer gets 15 years for leaking NORAD Santa Tracker • Gelt still more real than crypto.