CMU rules military service ineligible for Experiential Learning • OPINION: First, it was a Masters. Now, you need a Ph.D. before they let you fuck the computers • Courses to begin offering bonus points for students willing to let TAs heckle them while they take the exam • CMU endorses homelessness as a viable solution to rising competition in on-campus housing • Loving Couple LARP as bitter, nearly-separated divorcees • China expresses concerns over working conditions in CFA • Finding the best corner to stand in at a crowded party a guide • Carnival rides now include the Throngler, the ImpalyStabber, and the Twist • How to make sure the divorce is YOUR fault, a guide for teens • Administration to build new Student Academic Failure Center just for you • Oops! All Eugenics! Student accidentally argues for eugenics during ethics class for seventeenth time this week • I met Santa Claus, she's black • SLICE defends university-sanctioned orgies • SCC proposes new Booth teardown technique including ramming buggies into them • Local chapter of the KKK disappointed to see that the sun is black following total eclipse • Report: Voices in your head usually correct, studies show • NO EXCEPTIONS. CMU to enforce dismount zones for students in wheelchairs • Can President Joe Biden please presidentially pardon my AIV? • Tripping out in Roberts Engineering Hall • C@CMU: CMU's cultural touchstone • President Jahanian renames Office of Community Responsibility to Department of War • Actual fire in Morewood; No one leaves this time • New CaPS meeting locations include ledges, bridges, and intersections • Deer given proper therapy and antidepressants significantly less likely to freeze in front of cars • Child tries to separate parents to get two Christmases • Top 10 CMU buildings I'd pick up if I were Godzilla • Victorian Child unimpressed by current labor standards, "You can't do anything these days!" • Why the liberal left wants to make the face in the electrical outlets smiley instead of frowny • Dennis Prager won’t stop impregnating our country’s petite gay men causing national twink shortage • 10 ways to avoid getting embroiled in a pedophillia scandal, #6 will shock you! • CMU student lives in a barrel, claims it's better than first year housing • REPORT: Carnegie Mellon students so afraid of the sun they only go outside during eclipse • King Solomon Attempts to divide up twins, mother requests they're both cut in half • School of Drama declares succession from Carnegie Mellon, relocating to a place with "fewer nerds" • Drinking in Young Adult Duos Study discovers new kind of alcohol poisoning • Kanye up to something • Amid mental health crisis, Google image searches for “scary werewolf” outnumber searches for “silly dog” • Studies show you're not being gaslit, you're just genuinely losing it • Admin continues to insist that you can't spell anything else with the letters C, M, and U • Booth chair discovers that "scissor lift violation" isn't a sex thing • CMU rules military service ineligible for Experiential Learning. • OPINION: First, it was a Masters. Now, you need a Ph.D. before they let you fuck the computers. • Courses to begin offering bonus points for students willing to let TAs heckle them while they take the exam. • CMU endorses homelessness as a viable solution to rising competition in on-campus housing • Loving Couple LARP as bitter, nearly-separated divorcees • China expresses concerns over working conditions in CFA • Finding the best corner to stand in at a crowded party a guide. • Carnival rides now include the Throngler, the ImpalyStabber, and the Twist. • How to make sure the divorce is YOUR fault, a guide for teens • Administration to build new Student Academic Failure Center just for you. • Oops! All Eugenics! Student accidentally argues for eugenics during ethics class for seventeenth time this week • I met Santa Claus, she's black. • SLICE defends university-sanctioned orgies • SCC proposes new Booth teardown technique including ramming buggies into them • Local chapter of the KKK disappointed to see that the sun is black following total eclipse • Report: Voices in your head usually correct, studies show. • NO EXCEPTIONS. CMU to enforce dismount zones for students in wheelchairs. • Can President Joe Biden please presidentially pardon my AIV? • Tripping out in Roberts Engineering Hall • C@CMU: CMU's cultural touchstone • President Jahanian renames Office of Community Responsibility to Department of War. • Actual fire in Morewood; No one leaves this time. • New CaPS meeting locations include ledges, bridges, and intersections • Deer given proper therapy and antidepressants significantly less likely to freeze in front of cars. • Child tries to separate parents to get two Christmases • Top 10 CMU buildings I'd pick up if I were Godzilla. • Victorian Child unimpressed by current labor standards, "You can't do anything these days!" • Why the liberal left wants to make the face in the electrical outlets smiley instead of frowny • Dennis Prager won’t stop impregnating our country’s petite gay men causing national twink shortage • 10 ways to avoid getting embroiled in a pedophillia scandal, #6 will shock you! • CMU student lives in a barrel, claims it's better than first year housing • REPORT: Carnegie Mellon students so afraid of the sun they only go outside during eclipse • King Solomon Attempts to divide up twins, mother requests they're both cut in half. • School of Drama declares succession from Carnegie Mellon, relocating to a place with "fewer nerds" • Drinking in Young Adult Duos Study discovers new kind of alcohol poisoning • Kanye up to something • Amid mental health crisis, Google image searches for “scary werewolf” outnumber searches for “silly dog” • Studies show you're not being gaslit, you're just genuinely losing it • Admin continues to insist that you can't spell anything else with the letters C, M, and U. • Booth chair discovers that "scissor lift violation" isn't a sex thing
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