Stupid Baby Rabbits Keep Ruining My Brooding
Rabbit populations follow boom-bust cycles, and the Pittsburgh rabbit sex market is at an all time high. This wreaks havoc on native plants, spreads disease, and takes away from my most enjoyable hobby: being miserable. Sometimes I walk around Westinghouse pond and contemplate drowning myself in two feet of water (I’m 6’5 by the way), and I see a bunny the size of my first nibbling at a clover. Other times, I mope up and down the hills of the Schelney golf course, and see balls of fur hopping into the sunset. How am I supposed to brood under these conditions? The balance of nature is a delicate one, and this is yet another example of how devastating the consequences of upsetting that balance can be. I can only imagine the suffering of my fellow CMU students; regardless, we must console ourselves with the fact that the rabbits will reach adulthood by midterm season.