Readme's Homework Eating Service
Finals are a stressful time. Each class just loves piling on projects, homework, and exams all at once. That's why Readme is proud to introduce the new Readme Homework Eating Service! Inspired by the dogs of old, the Readme Homework Eating Service is incredibly straightforward. Bring a printed out copy of your homework to any member of Readme and they will promptly eat it. If your homework is digital, we are happy to accommodate by consuming your laptop or tablet.
If your professor requires proof of why you couldn’t complete your homework, simply take a picture of a member of the Readme Homework Eating Service gnawing on your work. We are also happy to pose for action shots of you watching helplessly as a member of Readme viciously consumes your assignment.
Testimonials:
“I was really stressed out about my First Year Writing paper. Thankfully, a member of Readme ate the entirety of my rough draft! Now I no longer need to think about it. The bite marks were so doglike that my professor just stood in shock! Thanks, Readme Homework Eating Service!”
“15-122 just kept giving me programming homework, and I didn’t know how to complete any of them. So, I brought my laptop to the Readme Homework Eating Service, and they went to town. I’m a bit concerned about their willingness to eat electrical components, but at least I’m now free of 122.”
“I’m a TA for [REDACTED] and I really didn’t want to grade the finals. I brought a stack of finals to the Readme Homework Eating Service, and they ate them all for me. I’m probably going to get fired, but at least I don’t have to grade these finals.”
“I was worried that my tearstained dissertation wouldn’t be edible, but the guys at the Readme Homework Eating Service seemed to really enjoy it. I think they liked the slightly salty taste.”
“I’m a professor for [REDACTED], and I didn’t feel like teaching. I gave Readme my class notes and they consumed all of them for me. Fuck you, I have tenure.”
Note: Please remove all staples from papers before turning them over to the Readme Homework Eating Service. (One of our employees likes the staples a little too much.)