Violet R. Blu
she/her
Staffwriter
Communications, 2038 (master’s program)
Bio
I’m a hard-nosed student journalist. I spend my time cutting through the lies and lying on the Cut.
Fun fact
I dislike poetry.
Location
the oft-forgotten F-tower
Latest
Finals Week Sestina
As I enter the cold concrete cervix of Wean,
the gold plaque of Raymond smells my fear.
I order a coffee that’ll make me shit
out all my self loathing and lack of sleep.
I don’t think I’ve retained a thing from this class.
It might be worth risking the AIV.
Is channeling ghosts in exams an AIV?
I’ll hash out my questions with Raymond John Wean.
I’m not sure if he can help with this class,
but my judgment is clouded by fear.
As quietly as if the world were asleep,
I whisper a refrain of Shit, shit, …
Sweepstakes forbids new live-birth method
Just weeks ahead of Carnival, Sweepstakes has dropped a bombshell on all buggy teams: due to existing rules prohibiting mass loss during a race, the “live birth method” is officially banned. In previous years, buggy drivers would impregnate themselves prior to Carnival, nourishing the fetus with Stack’d and melatonin gummies. Then, they would induce labor the morning of race day.
The method unfolds in two parts. As the driver takes the first downhill, they must fight to stay pregnant. Extra weight means extra momentum, and on the course, every kilogram meter per second matters. While some train their pelvic …
Evil Careers for those in the Arts (Oh, and the Humanities)
Every freshman comes to CMU with the same dream. They may have different passions, but when they stand up at convocation, each one has the same thought in their mind: my very own Faustian contract is just around the corner. Unfortunately, achieving this dream is easier for some than it is for others. While engineers lock eyes with Lockheed Martin and programmers become pals with Palantir, students of the liberal and fine arts often feel left out. As a humanist myself, I understand the pain of having an unmarketable soul. That’s why I’ve compiled a list of high paying, dastardly …
Tongue Wrestler Fights Battle for Dominance
Since the dawn of humankind, the practice of wrestling has been used to determine social pecking orders. Countless fighters, from the Greeks to the Mughals to John Cena, have earned alpha status by turning their opponents into emasculated area rugs. It doesn’t matter whether people wrestle with bodies, arms, or thumbs. All variants of wrestling serve the same purpose: demonstrating the power of one person over another. This age-old purpose is what led to tongue wrestling, the newest frontier of the sport.
Wrestler Youssef Nassar, known professionally as Y/N, has pioneered an entirely new form of wrestling. He credits …