Finals Week Sestina
As I enter the cold concrete cervix of Wean,
the gold plaque of Raymond smells my fear.
I order a coffee that’ll make me shit
out all my self loathing and lack of sleep.
I don’t think I’ve retained a thing from this class.
It might be worth risking the AIV.
Is channeling ghosts in exams an AIV?
I’ll hash out my questions with Raymond John Wean.
I’m not sure if he can help with this class,
but my judgment is clouded by fear.
As quietly as if the world were asleep,
I whisper a refrain of Shit, shit, shit.
I come to the conclusion that I’m shit
out of luck even if I get away with an AIV.
Though I cry myself to sleep,
I know I’m not alone. We all must wean
ourselves off of hope and learn to swallow fear.
Here’s what they missed in your Core@CMU class:
We all like to think we have too much class
to write answers on the bathroom wall in shit,
but people grow desperate in times of fear.
If the big stall stinks of an AIV,
pretend you saw nothing.
Just walk out of Wean.
Don’t wake the custodial staff from their sleep.
Even in the depths of REM sleep,
you’ll be doing work for your linalg class.
Each matrix is The Matrix, labyrinthine Wean,
and you’ll find that you can’t escape for shit.
Is dreaming of vectors an AIV?
Thousands of arrows all pointing to fear.
You have nothing to fear except not feeling fear,
not studying enough, and getting too much sleep.
Being rested and calm is an AIV.
If you want to pass every class,
you must sit on the toilet and shit
enough bricks to build a replica of Wean.
Professors give lectures on fear to each class.
Just get some sleep! No. Ignore that shit.
It’s not an AIV to give your soul to Wean.