WP
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Unknowable and mysterious.
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Kill Phil
The average lifespan of marmota momax, the common groundhog, is 2 to 3 years. That is 2 to 3 years too long. I don’t remember what that fuckass rodent said or did back in February, but whether that little prick saw his shadow or not is really irrelevant to the fact that, twice in the last two weeks, the temperature dropped 40 degrees from one day to the next. If this had happened once, I would have forgiven him. It wasn’t bad the first time. I spent my entire day going “wow, will ya believe the weather?” to people, …
Traffic Calming Solution
The City of Pittsburgh has released an official statement following questions about PRT’s bus route redesign, which includes retiring a bus line on Fifth Avenue and rerouting affected buses to Forbes Avenue.
“Obviously, there are concerns about safety, given the increased congestion on Forbes Avenue,” said PRT spokesperson Mr. Portss. “That’s pretty much always our number one priority. Fortunately, we were able to draw from the immense talent pool of university students here and hire an intern to come up with a way to deal with this.”
The architect of the solution, a Carnegie Mellon graduate, was eager …
From the Forbes Ave McDonald’s
The ancient Greeks, having nothing better to do with their time, came up with six words for love: agape (unconditional love), eros (sexual love), philia (brotherly love), storge (parental love), philautia (self love), and xenia (hospitable love). Less widely known is that the ancient Greeks also invented six words for hate, which they came up with shortly after inventing trigonometry: arc-agape, arc-eros, arc-philia, arc-storge, arc-philautia, and arc-xenia. One lesser known perk of attending school in the Pittsburgh area is getting to experience all of these sentiments in their natural breeding ground, the McDonald’s on Forbes Avenue. For the cheap price …
Pittsburgh's Failing Water Infrastructure
A chain is only as strong as its weakest link; any system should be not judged by its ability to excel in ideal conditions, but rather in its performance under predictable yet adverse circumstances. This week’s blizzard has revealed severe issues within Pittsburgh’s public works sector. It is reasonable to expect some hiccups, such as 37 snow plows breaking down within a few hours of the downpour. Things happen! A city must, however, maintain a certain standard of living for its citizens. As many are already painfully aware, Pittsburgh has fallen painfully short of this duty: there are not enough …
A Novel Approach to Union Busting
Running a small business is hard. In today’s world full of soulless corporations, it is inspiring to see hardworking American families succeed in honest business ventures like buying out the competition and passing the result down to their children. Unfortunately, the world is often cruel to those with pure intentions. Recent events regarding a certain Pittsburgh newspaper owned by a certain set of twin brothers from Ohio have only served to emphasize this.
The U.S Supreme Court, in an affront to the enterprising American spirit, had ruled in favor of ungrateful striking journalists, forcing the owners to negotiate with …
4 Hacks to get an extension
It’s that time of year again. You got nothing done over Thanksgiving Break, and if you’re one of those California “people” that go home for the holiday, then you’ve also managed to get enough exposure to above40degree weather to reverse whatever progress you have made building up a cold tolerance. Great. On top of this, you’re starting to feel a disturbing sense that all your final projects are due in the same week. Nauseatingly, you’re also starting to realize that all your final exams are during the week after. Crazy how that happens. It is normal to feel overwhelmed, especially …
One must imagine Sisyphus' Heart is in the work
The gods have commanded Carnegie Mellon students to ceaselessly start and submit assignments, only for more notifications to appear on Canvas at the end of the day. They found no crueller punishment for the students’ hubris than this dreadful, repetitive task. There are many varying accounts for why the students are being punished in this manner. Some spent time on r/ Applying2College in high school, others applied to make their parents love them, and one or two even “really like the school” and “wanna follow their dreams”.
You have already grasped that the Carnegie Mellon student is an absurd …
On buying a minifridge
Are you considering buying a minifridge for your dorm? A miniature refrigerator can be a great addition to your dormitory room. You can use it to keep leftover dining hall food fresh, keep beverages chilled, and so much more! Having your very own minifridge is sure to make you one of the cool kids on your floor, especially for late night shenanigans (shut up shut up SHUT UP you weren’t supposed to mention it). That being said, it’s important to make sure that you pick the right minifridge for you and your needs!
The number one most important thing …