SCS Students to join call centers en masse
This afternoon the Office of International Education in collaboration with the School of Computer Science announced an exciting opportunity for all Computer Science majors. Students will be given the opportunity to provide Microsoft tech support in various call centers throughout India. This will provide them hands-on experience with both programming and customer interaction.
The system will work as follows, students will be hired at any one of the many call centers located throughout India. From there, they will be tasked to call overseas customers and, with their computer science experience, provide quality technical support. Recent statistics show that over …
Best countries to study abroad in to study in Russia
Want to study abroad in Russia, but can't because of geopolitics? Check out this list of 10 countries to try instead, which will have you studying abroad in Russia in no time!
10. Ukraine
Give Trump and Putin a few weeks to negotiate, and you'll undoubtedly find yourself within Russian territory.
9. Georgia
Just wait! With a little patience, you'll be part of Russia just the same.
8. Belarus
Does linguistic genocide give you a hard-on? Much like how Western countries like France squashed their national languages in favor of one spoken by the …
Tepper Unveils New Hell Campus
“We fought hard to ensure our students a prime location. It’s like a stu-cation! Which is what we’re calling it when one of our students goes to Hell.”
- Dr. S. A. Tan, Office of Tepper Study Abroad Programs
Do you want to hear a joke?
Hey hey, I got a joke for you, right? You’re like, reading this magazine or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, the Reader, whatever. This one’s like traveling, right? Like abroad? So, you know how you’re, like, traveling? Like, tr-traveling? Haha! You know, hehe, like, there’s, you know, wo- wo- [chuckling] there’s like WOMEN there! Amiright? Right?
[four seconds of silence]
Anyway, like. Traveling. Like you’re traveling uhhh, like, abuh. Like, a buh [Laughter] abuh- abuh- hold on. [Shaky breath] Abruhaha- hahaha- a broa- A- BRO [Cackling] Oh, oh ma [Continuing laughter] Oh, oh let me catch my breath. [Huffing …
Oh, Hi! Um, this is Awkward; It Seems You Just Picked Me Up.
The sky is filled with a biting blue-gray, so you ducked indoors to relieve the numbness. But, on this icy winter day, a breeze still permeates the Kittanning brick. The echoes of soles, the stoplights by each door, and the smell of novelty and age combined remind you of the university campus that you attend. As you pace with your busied mind, you sense a fluttering not too far. Winter may it be, it felt like Autumn for an instant. Was it a…
Oh, hi! Um, this is awkward; it seems like you just picked me up. I mean, …
Everyone I date becomes lesbian
Hi, for the past two years, I have been unable to find love due to a stupid curse and I was wondering if anyone had any advice for me.
It all started a year or two ago when I had my first date. I thought it went well and that she had a great time. We even had another date which(IMO) went as well as the first. However, after this the next time we met in person she broke up with me, saying that I was “A nice guy, but not the right fit for her”. I was a …
Human Mating Calls: The Bird Perspective
Humans are among nature’s most social animals. They are renowned for their group migrations, cooperative foraging, communal roosting, synchronous breeding aggregations, precise parent–offspring interactions, coordinated group defenses, and intricate territorial and courtship rituals. In these and other contexts, and indeed in most moments of their lives, humans’ capability to navigate complex social demands and relationships can tip the balance between health or sickness, between reproductive success or failure, between life or death. It is thus no surprise that humans have evolved sophisticated systems for mediating social interactions. Foremost among these are communication signals, most evident in humans as songs, calls, …
FAST and RAW Romance Advice
Readers of ReadMe, you know that we’ve always promised you an educational, engaging, and deadly serious article of the highest standards. On this special occasion, we promise no differently. This is all the advice you deserve to handle romance and love in your life.
YOU are failing to communicate. No matter what you try so hard to believe. Your partner is always expressing their purest, free-est self to you and you’re squandering it with your stupid hangups. If it was working out, they would always be happy, because that’s how these things fucking work. It’s because you didn’t …
![A comic. The first two panels show a woman sighing and looking out a window toward a silhouetted couple holding hands under an umbrella. "Will I ever find love?" the third panel questions. Panel four shows two people holding hands in chair desks, and they're texting hearts back and forth in panel five. In panels six and seven the woman reads a copy of "readme falls in love," then concluedes, "no, probably not." [I really like this comic :-) - rtosh]](/media/vol3/issue3/images/lovecomic_ji67hZE.jpg)
Getting Ready for a Date with ReadMe
Welcome back readers to another installment of ReadMe’s daily blog. Today I have an extra-special edition- join me today as we get ready for a first date! Follow along to certainly wow a beau to be!
We’re starting off with a good foundation for our morning routine: ensuring our pages are extra crisp with a proper pressing and drying. This is the most important part of the routine, as nothing else matters if you show up all wrinkled and wet. I’ve recently become fond of wrapping a clothes iron in a tea towel. This one is just a cheap …
Date Recap With README
First Date
Oh my gosh, I'm so excited! This is my first time going on a date, I hope I don't ruin it with some silly typo. We're just going to the library, but it's a nice outing not too far outside my comfort zone.
Second Date
Our first date was amazing! I think you and I really understand each other. It's only been a week, but I've had this fluttering feeling every time I think about you. Tonight we're going to an office supply store, maybe you can tell me which manilla folder makes me look …
Commonly Asked Dinner Q's
Whenever you bring home a new loved one for dinner, it’s inevitable that your parents will ask you questions about them. Bringing home your new copy of ReadMe is no different. Today we will discuss some of the questions you can anticipate will be asked of you and your new beau, and how to best respond to them to inspire confidence in your parents.
“So how did you two meet?”
This is a common question that gets used to open up the conversation. It is important to make a good first impression, tell them about how you two …
CMU Takes Position on Gates Divorce
In August of 2021, Bill Gates and Melinda French Gates got a divorce after 27 years of profitable marriage. While the couples' finances have since been settled, CMU has quietly ignored a brewing custody battle over the Gates' favorite child: the Gates-Hillman Center.
While the 9-story building was conceived by the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation in 2009, which is around the time Bill first became friends with Jeffrey Epstein, the Bill Gates Foundation and the Melinda Gates Foundation have since parted ways. They can no longer legally support the same causes, and that includes raising the young Gates …
Readme Travel Blog: Honeymoon Edition!
EXCLUSIVE: Readme has shared moments from their honeymoon with the Reader at a mysterious island getaway (Readme is on the run from the authorities for alleged “terrorism” in last week’s issue). The two used a private paper airplane to hop between exciting destinations around the world such as [redacted] and [redacted]. They were able to relax, enjoy delicious foods, explore the beaches, gaze into the sunset, and engage in police chases.
Love Letters To README
Dear Beloved Reader, Periodically I find myself thinking of you. My horoscopes tell me our stars align. ~ Yours truly, Readme
Dearest Readme, Today I was particularly drawn to your comics section. I have to say, you’re my type(face). ~ Eternally yours, Reader
My Darling Reader, No pressure but while I do like shiny things, I’d marry you with paper rings. The gossip columns have been whispering about you. ~ Love, Readme
Dear Readme, I hope we’ll be more than just a tabloid couple- we could make real headlines together. ~ XOXO, Reader
