Cade Suko
Staffwriter
Bio
Unknowable and mysterious.
Latest
Exclusive Feature: Booth Baby
This is the heartwarming story of how two students met through working on Booth together—and they even made a booth-themed house for their baby.
Baby John Wilkes, born on May 30, was the first child of Tartan alumni Tricia and Bill Ding. This couple first met when working on Booth together in their Senior year, and they’ve been together ever since. “After having spent 4 years at Carnegie Mellon, we didn’t really have any more money,” Tricia said. “Since we loved our time working on Booth so much, we thought that instead of buying a home for our baby, …
WALK FASTER
If you have long legs like me, you’ll know there’s an epidemic of slow walkers on this campus. Consider the statue Walking to the Sky. The people in this statue are quite frankly doing it wrong in every way. Where could they possibly be going? Why haven’t any of them moved at all since 2004? Why are you looking at the statue when you could be walking? Distractions like these are how CMU sets you all up for failure. However, don’t fear, because I’m creating this guide to teach people how to walk properly.
Remember that if you aren’t …
Readme has hired world's funniest baby
Here at ReadMe, we’re hip with the youth. That’s why we make sure to give equal opportunity to comedians of all ages. And well, earlier this week, we found some truly outstanding talent: the funniest baby ever.
Herbert, 0 years old, was born with an innate knack for comedy writing. It all started when he was dropped onto a typewriter—nearly everyone who witnessed it agreed that it was funny. Not wanting to miss out on this golden opportunity, we, of course, hired him on the spot. Since then, he’s been writing 24/7, only taking very short breaks to cry …
Call Me in Case of Campus Emergencies
Imagine this: you’ve been shot and you’re bleeding out on the ground. You call the campus police to come save you, but they send out a guy with another gun! Do you feel safe in this situation? Do you trust this random stranger not to also shoot you? Of course not! But I have a better idea: just call me instead.
Is there a criminal on the loose? I’m literally 6 foot 3. That criminal is getting hit with the good ol’ Cade Combo. All my homies can attest to my power.
Are you having a medical emergency? …
Why It's Really Called Au Bon "Pain"
Never, ever go near Au Bon Pain if you care about your dignity. Please humbly take my story as a cautionary tale.
It was a beautiful Thursday evening. I was headed to a dinner date with my girlfriend at Revolution Noodle, but young and foolish as I was, I took a wrong turn in the UC.
That was the moment I first saw it: the café that still taunts me with its beauty. Like the succulent apples and oranges they serve as sides, Au Bon Pain’s allure was beyond compare. With all consideration of my date thrown out …
Rat Authorities Ignore Human Infestation in Mudge
If you’re a rat in Carnegie Mellon University, you may love hanging around in many places—Darting around Hunt Library, sliding down Baker Hall, serving food at Yella’s, or being served as food at Yella’s. However, the largest and longest- standing safe haven for rats is undeniably Mudge House. Formed in 1958 by Edmund W. Mudge (who was very progressive for a koi fish of his time), it is the first and only rat- inclusive housing unit at CMU.
Rats lately have been seen more positively in the public eye due to their great contributions to the COVID19 pandemic, and …