Rat Authorities Ignore Human Infestation in Mudge
If you’re a rat in Carnegie Mellon University, you may love hanging around in many places—Darting around Hunt Library, sliding down Baker Hall, serving food at Yella’s, or being served as food at Yella’s. However, the largest and longest- standing safe haven for rats is undeniably Mudge House. Formed in 1958 by Edmund W. Mudge (who was very progressive for a koi fish of his time), it is the first and only rat- inclusive housing unit at CMU.
Rats lately have been seen more positively in the public eye due to their great contributions to the COVID19 pandemic, and the worldwide rat-to-human college admission ratio recently hit an all time high at 23%. Yet, at Carnegie Mellon, the opposite trend is happening—rats are being increasingly oppressed and displaced, despite other vermin (such as rabbits and SCS students) being relatively unaffected. How can this be?
Consider the current situation in Mudge House as a microcosm of what’s happening to rats in CMU as a whole. Due to overenrollment, what once was a ratsonly dorm is letting in hundreds of humans, to the point where they nearly outnumber the rats! Even more concerning is that the humans breed very quickly and are incredibly difficult to get rid of. Despite repeated complaints about this issue, CMU rat authorities are still unable to assist because of how short the staff are.
To all rats burdened by this pestilence: you are not alone. We recommend setting up traps for the humans, such as “poisoned leftovers in the fridge” or the classic “RAM- stick-in-a-bear-trap.” We wish you the best in reclaiming your rightful house.