Gilgamesh Ichthyomorphosis
🐸
Chief Technical Officer, Staffwriter
ECE, 2028
Bio
Part time student, full time silly goober
Fun fact
3 racoons in a trenchcoat
Location
Wean 5 Clusters
Latest
Gay Target Nutcrackers find true love
T’was a dark and stormy night in the Target warehouse. It had been months since June, and all but one little gay nutcracker had found a forever home. Tears streamed down the face of the little gay nutcracker. Was he unlovable? Was he destined to be alone? Was this all a cruel joke from a heartless creator?
The little gay nutcracker sat alone on the cold, barren warehouse rack – until he wasn’t. One day a Target worker entered carrying a box of Christmas nutcrackers. The worker placed the box of Christmas nutcrackers on a shelf across from the …
So you're on a couple waitlists
This past week CMU students were given the opportunity to register for spring semester classes. Due to over-enrollment this year some poor sops (me) were given 9:30 pm registration times. By noon, 15-122 already had a 370-person waitlist, which is fine, it’s only a pre-req to every single course I need. Despair set in as students with unfortunate registration times (me) panicked about getting graduation requirements. However, there need not be panic. There are many benefits to being on the waitlist, but it's fine as it is.
First, if you’re stressing about taking concepts and 15-122 in the same …
18-100 to introduce larger toolkits
ECE freshman carrying black and yellow tool kits is an ever-popular sight on Carnegie Mellon’s campus. Originally introduced to publicly shame people for choosing ECE as a major, the tool kits cemented their place when the head TAs for 18-100 realized they could store lab materials within the tool kits. However, in recent years the tool kits have not been sufficient. Complaints of the hefty weight of the toolkits have come from freshmen already burdened from carrying their 6-pound 17-inch gaming laptop to and from class. Recent complaints have also included that the tool kit is too small to store …
CMU To Construct New, Shittier Donner
With the completion of the new Highmark Center for Wellness, CMU has successfully wrapped up yet another construction project. Needing a new project to collect alumni donations, CMU turns to their freshman housing. Hopeful Donner residents prayed that CMU would finally announce the destruction of Donner, however, this Monday CMU announced that it will begin construction on a new, shittier Donner. The new Donner, aptly named Downer will be constructed directly next to the current Donner, so Donner residents are reminded that it could always get worse.
A competition was hosted among the architecture students to design a building …