Jupiter

By Jupiter • Vol 4, Issue 7 • Dec. 7, 2025

It’s that time of year again: Finals Week. Soon, classes will end and the excitement of the end of the semester will kick in. By excitement, I mean, absolute panic. Panic about failing exams, panic about failing classes, panic about your mom’s weird boyfriend at Christmas dinner. With this exciting time of year comes an increased number of calls to CaPS, the university’s counseling and psychological services. Now, I know that finals can be an annoying time for CaPS with all these kids calling, whining about their “mental struggles.” I understand, it gets tiring. Since when did CaPS become the …

By Jupiter • Vol 4, Issue 7 • Dec. 7, 2025

I have to say, I have had the worst semester. No, not because of my bimonthly midterms or from that time I missed two months of lecture because I had the flu. Dear readers, my semester has been simply horrid because of the homophobia I have faced in my English class. Like, this discrimination is going to kill my QPA.

From the very beginning, I could just tell that this professor and I were going to have problems. First, we’re sitting in lecture on the first day of class. The professor is droning on and on about the syllabus. …

By Jupiter • Vol 4, Issue 6 • Nov. 11, 2025

ReadMe’s most dedicated journalists have recently discovered a letter at the bottom of a Rohr Cafe – La Prima coffee cup, believed to be written by a student who never made it out of the Gates and Hillman centers. Out of respect for this fallen student, we have decided to broadcast their mad ramblings for the whole university to read:

I’ve tried all the doors but none of them seem to open. I walked up and down the spiral, searching for anyone else trapped in Gates, yet I have found no one. Perhaps I will just sit and study …