Baili Jiang
he/him
Staffwriter + Impulsive Mathematical Gambler
mathematics + cs, twentytwentyeight
Bio
My fun fact is lying.
Fun fact
This sentence is telling the truth.
Location
ERR:DivisionByZeroError
Contact
barryj@andrew.cmu.edu
Latest
Crime Report Report
Institutional vandalism, criminal trespass, receiving stolen property: 3/10
Report dubious at best. They claim that a non-affiliate broke into the Mellon Institute and caused damage to property owned by Carnegie Mellon. First of all, there’s no person in the world named Carnegie Mellon, and if there is, we need to dox and shame their parents. Second, how on Earth does somebody break in and get caught? Everybody knows the best way to sneak into the lifeless husk known as the Mellon Institute is via the secret elevator inside Pillar #7. It’s baffling to think anyone would take the entrance …
Morewood Gardens Daycare Bi-annual Hazing Report
Cyert Center for Early Education
Biannual Hazing Report
1060 Morewood Avenue,
Morewood Gardens building
Reporting Period: 05/08/2026 to 09/07/2026
Date of Publication: 09/23/2026
Report 1 of 2
SUBJECT: Boys Pod A
REPORTED: 11/1/2024
DATE CHARGED: 05/10/2026
DATE RESOLVED: 05/23/2026
Description: CMU Ethics Reporting hotline received an anonymous tip after Halloween 2024 with allegations of hazing on a newly integrated member of the daycare. The tip alleged that members attempted to restrain the prospective boy to a tree using Silly String as part of an ongoing day project of decorating for Halloween. The leader of Boys Pod A …