Rock Buddy
Staffwriter
chem, 2029
Bio
Likes stuff
Fun Fact
5'11
Previous Work
Read Me's Recipes from Last Night
The SCS:
• One Monster Energy Ultra White
• One Vanilla Yoplait
• Two shots of Raspberry Vodka
The Tepper:
• One shot of Blue Diamond
• One shot of Coffee Liqueur
• Coke Served with a silver spoon.
The “White Boy speaking a little Espanol”:
• A shot of tequila with a depressed lime and salt spilled into the drink
• “Arriba, abajo, acentro, adentro”
The Wedding Crasher:
• Four shots of Tequila
• Two shots of Bailey’s
• Pepsi and Milk to Taste
• Four regrettable text messages
The Amnesty Call:
• Two shots of Hennessy
• Orange Juice
• One overly nosy RA
• Talented Acting Skills
• A night in the ER
The ReadMe Writing Staff Special:
• $10 worth of Celsius at Entropy
• A bottle of Smirnoff
• Someone else’s Adderall
• Ringing Ears, Blurred Vision
• Voices from the ceiling
The AA meeting:
• Mott’s Grape Juice :(
Chemger Games winners threaten double suicide, sequels cancelled
It has been an action-packed day for the Chemger Games. Contestants from every corner of campus have embarked on the perilous journey to reach the Mellon Institute, with many dying from exhaustion before ever reaching the godforsaken building. Of those who remained, drama was omnipresent. Who could forget the unforgettable forced laser cutting perpetrated by the two members of the Donner house, or the various chemical burns perpetrated by Mudge? Certainly not the individuals from E Tower, who retaliated with an attempted poisoning with an unlabeled powder that ended up being table salt. But the most dramatic part was when two members of the same housing threatened a double suicide after being the only remaining survivors. This baffled officials, who quickly checked to reaffirm that there is indeed no rule against two winners being from the same housing. The two victors were promptly sent to CaPS, where they are under psychiatric evaluation.