Rock Buddy

By Rock Buddy • Vol 5, Issue 1 • Jan. 13, 2026

Father Judd was working alone in his study, doing religious things, and sitting in a mahogany chair. Suddenly the door opens. He smiled, happy to see a familiar face. “Ah! Blanc, how can I help you?” “Well you see uh Fathuh, I was just perusing my local Barnes and Noble when I happened to go past a ratha interesting section.” Judd had always admired Blanc’s southern drawl, reminding of his boyhood obsession with cowboys and the south and ten-gallon hats. He loved ten gallon hats, he even knew that they derived from the spanish phrase Tan Galan. “Oh yeah? What …

By Rock Buddy • Vol 4, Issue 4 • Oct. 8, 2025

The SCS:
• One Monster Energy Ultra White
• One Vanilla Yoplait
• Two shots of Raspberry Vodka

The Tepper:
• One shot of Blue Diamond
• One shot of Coffee Liqueur
• Coke Served with a silver spoon.

The “White Boy speaking a little Espanol”:
• A shot of tequila with a depressed lime and salt spilled into the drink
• “Arriba, abajo, acentro, adentro”

The Wedding Crasher:
• Four shots of Tequila
• Two shots of Bailey’s
• Pepsi and Milk to Taste
• Four regrettable text messages

The Amnesty Call:
• Two …

By Rock Buddy • Vol 4, Issue 3 • Sept. 26, 2025

It has been an action-packed day for the Chemger Games. Contestants from every corner of campus have embarked on the perilous journey to reach the Mellon Institute, with many dying from exhaustion before ever reaching the godforsaken building. Of those who remained, drama was omnipresent. Who could forget the unforgettable forced laser cutting perpetrated by the two members of the Donner house, or the various chemical burns perpetrated by Mudge? Certainly not the individuals from E Tower, who retaliated with an attempted poisoning with an unlabeled powder that ended up being table salt. But the most dramatic part was when …