Handy Manny

By Handy Manny & Violet R. Blu • Vol 5, Issue 3 • Feb. 10, 2026

Have you ever realized shit, I look TOO youthful? Have you ever been rejected from ordering copious amounts of alcohol for being “underage”? Well, here at Dave’s Rare and Unusual New Kreations, our team of award-winning scientists has discovered a new way to acquire alcohol!

Introducing Anti-Anti-Aging Cream! It's a super simple product you put on your face twice, once a day. This product penetrates deep into your pores, making you look so old that people may think you're a walking zombie! Despite the FDA’s claims, this probably isn’t battery acid, and our product is known for working …