Gilgamesh Ichthyomorphosis
šø
Chief Technical Officer, Staffwriter
ECE, 2028
Bio
Part time student, full time silly goober
Fun fact
3 racoons in a trenchcoat
Location
Wean 5 Clusters
Latest
So you want to TA a class
Like many CMU students, you may have seen the 15-112 TAs decked out in their bright blue hoodies, haunting Gates 5. While their swag is atrocious, their aura is undeniable. To obtain this aura, you need to become a TA.
Many students expect their TA duties to be relatively straightforward: answer Ed posts, hold office hours, grade homework, teach a recitation or two. However, this is just surface level TA work. In order to be a true TA, you need to be doing much more.
Before you apply to be a TA, you should be proficient with at ā¦
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette takes inspiration from Andrew Carnegie
Steel mills, newspapers, and Carnegie Mellon Architecture: what do these all have in common? They are all built on a foundation of Pittsburgh-based exploitative labor practices. Andrew Carnegie opened his first steel mill in 1875, and with it started Pittsburghās cultural obsession with underpaying and overworking the labor force. With the foundation of Carnegie Institute of Technology in 1900, overworking spread from the steel mills to the classroom. Carnegieās famous quote, āmy heart is in the work,ā has been taken quite literally, with Celsius-sponsored heart attacks now driving school production 126 years later.
Carnegie also had indirect influence ā ā¦
I Ate 100 Tic Tacs and now Iām Glowing
My day started off pretty normal. I went to the store and bought my groceries. At checkout a box of tic tacs tempted me. I purchased the box. I ate one tic tac. It was so yummy. I ate another tic tac it was yummier. 5 hours later and I ate the whole box of tic tacs. Please help I am now glowing radioactive. (I also ate a glow stick but that is probably unrelated) THe gllowies got to me heheherwhehhehreweherwherwhewehwehwhehwehwhehwhehwhehehhe hehwehewhewhehewhewhewhehehehwhehewehewhhehehehheewrhherw . Thbey are going to send me to an institution hehehehehe. WIth the glowies. The glowie jail they ā¦
I Just Shat Myself in a Macys
Please bring a change of pants
Its 1 am on a Saturday night and I am in a Macys
I didnāt know they had Macys anymore
Why am I in a Macyies
I ate 4 whole blocks of cheese before coming to Macys
I asked the Macys empoolye where the bathroom was
There is no bathroom in this Macys
I really have to poop
But there is not bathroom
I just shat myself
My mommy says I can't go to war
My mommy said I canāt go to war.
My mommy said I canāt go to bootcamp.
My mommy said I canāt go to basic training.
My mommy said war is scary.
My mommy said Iām her precious little boy.
My mommy said I am going to get hurt in war.
My mommy said I canāt drive the tank.
My mommy said I canāt have a gun.
My mommy said I canāt die on the battlefield in a drawn out war for my country.
So no Mr. Recruiter, I will not give you my name.
The New And Improved Readme Guide to Being a Landlord
Congrats! You just picked up the keys to your second home. Time to turn this place into the shittiest slightly below average college house of some wannabe frat broās dreams. Here are readmEās patented tips to get your place ready for some fresh faced college douchebags.
Tip 1: Your new home might have several maintenance issues, chipped paint, or a kitchen faucet that is held on by a stick of gum and one nondenominational prayer. DO NOT REPAIR THIS. Many tenants will complain about the so-called ālandlord specialā of painting over problems instead of properly addressing them. To avoid ā¦
Freshman's Guide to Getting Laid
Welcome to CMU, class of 2029+. When you first step onto campus, you may find yourself overwhelmed by the staggering number of clubs to join and people to meet, but if you're anything like us at readme, your first priority will always be one thing: sleeping with freshmen.
We've used our decades of collective experience to compile CMU's most comprehensive guide to getting in the kilt of the nearest warm body on campus. You can trust you're getting the real deal: for the 10th year in a row, the Wall Street Journal has ranked us as having more staffers ā¦
Hey Alums! Here's what's new on campus
Welcome back to campus, alumni! We hope that you have fun during carnival, and that the school brings back warm memories of your time here. CMUās changed a lot since youāve graduated, but donāt fear: readMe is here to get you up to speed.
Schatz has acquired its first Michelin star.
The premiere dining experience on CMUās campus is Schatz dining hall. We recommend alumni enjoy a delightful supper. However, be aware that the dress code is strictly enforced, and anything less than a suit will get you evicted from the premises. They didnāt pay for 2nd-floor window ā¦