Benner Rogers
Staffwriter, Artist, Obligatory English Major
Literature and Culture, Russian Studies, DC '27
Bio
Yes, I am a real person. README'S number one and only journalist since 1984
Fun Fact
I'm illiterate. Don't tell Eshaan, he hasn't noticed yet.
Previous Work
With child labor laws repealed, CMU Daycare begins buggy training
In the landmark Supreme Court case Buggy v. United States, child labor laws have successfully been repealed to allow the use of children for buggy drivers. CMU has already begun transforming its daycare center in Margaret Morrison into a state-of-the-art buggy training facility. Children as young as two will begin …
CMU Humanities Department Revealed to be Sentient AI Testing Grounds
A question stumping experts around the globe has finally been solved: why does Carnegie Mellon have an English department? For decades people have wondered who would possibly attend CMU just to get a degree in Creative Writing when everyone knows literary analysis is for losers. README has recently conducted a …
