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Archibald The Great

Archibald The Great

📍 closer than you think | Pronouns: wouldn't you like to know…
Email: don't…

Staffwriter

Tall, 1912

Bio

Former circus member, Lifelong Habsburg family member <3

Fun Fact

I can do 16 types of activities.

Previous Work

5 Hour Melcius


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CMU Takes Position on Gates Divorce

In August of 2021, Bill Gates and Melinda French Gates got a divorce after 27 years of profitable marriage. While the couples' finances have since been settled, CMU has quietly ignored a brewing custody battle over the Gates' favorite child: the Gates-Hillman Center.

While the 9-story building was conceived …

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SASC or SEX? New Coaching Workshop Draws Controversy

The Student Academic Success Center's new seminal seminar is under fire after students label it as "gross." The new seminar, designed specifically for finals week, outlines how students can best dress themselves to improve grade performance. "Dress for success!" said Dr. Lacey Skivvies, head of this new initiative. Dr. Skivvies …

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