A. Axolotl

Staffwriter
Unknowable and Mysterious

Abe James

Staffwriter
Unknowable and Mysterious

Ariel Kinel

Staffwriter
Aquafina Company Representative

Author Who Asked To Be Credited Only As ‘He Who Shall Not Be Named’

Staffwriter
Unknowable and Mysterious

Author Who Asked To Be Credited Only As ‘He Who Shall Not Be Named’ II

Staffwriter
Unknowable and Mysterious

Benner Rogers

Staffwriter
Yes, I am a real person. README'S number one and only journalist since 1981

Chatman GuPerT

Real Human Staffwriter
Jordan Harper is an award-winning journalist and the lead columnist for rEaDme, a publication known…

Cindy Gao

Staffwriter
perhaps better known as auntie readme. almost certainly not a cat.

Danya Kogan

Staffwriter, Union Agitator, Special Correspondent to Dr. Et Al
I don't know what I am doing.

Dr. Dee Pression

Staffwriter
Unknowable and Mysterious

Dr. Et Al.

Staffwriter, Science Correspondent
I have a PhD in every possible field, and am proudly tenured here at Carnegie Mellon University.

Emily Jiang

Staffwriter
Academic Weapon

Eshaan Joshi

Editor-in-Chief, Strikebreaker, Labor Law Violator
Affable idiot with a pen

Gavin Radford

Staffwriter, Lead Gavin, Nutrients
Gavin is a thought-leader, activist, and thingy-maker from San Gabriel, California. He first learne…

Gilgamesh Ichthyomorphosis

Public Relations Chair, Staffwriter
REAL CMU STUDENT *not clickbait*

Jacobi Edge

Staff Artist
I kiss wet rats

Jasmine Papino-Wood

Operations Manager, Staffwriter
i'm the one who wrote the dysphoria article

Jeremiah Cornelius Penname XXVII

Staffwriter
Unknowable and Mysterious

Joe MacDonald

Staffwriter
North Korea

Jonathan Wang

Staffwriter, Layout Manager
Jonathan doesn't know how he made it onto exec but he somehow enjoys privileges' that nobody else d…

Joseph "ReadMe" McCathy

Staffwriter
I hate communism.

Kevin Song

Senior Advisor, Staff Artist
Kevin isn't literate, so we make him draw some of the pictures. We also use him as the printing goo…

Kyle Hynes

Staffwriter
LEFT_EMPTY

Lee Rodriguez

Chief Technical Officer, server rack owner, revenge bedtime procrastinator
𝐼𝒻 𝐼 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝒾𝓉 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒, 𝐼 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝒾𝓉 𝒶𝓃𝓎𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 ♡ I ❤️ NY | PRISM Chair 🛜 | Creative Writing🐸

Mass of Rat Brain Cells

Rat brain
Created in a lab

Maximillian Bartholemow VIII

Staffwriter
Born to a wealthy landowning family in Surrey, England, Maximillian Bartholemew III, is our highly …

Meat

Intern
Ian Turner, known typically by his nickname "Meat", is ReAdMe's loyal intern, who does anything we …

Mihir Deshpande

Staffwriter
I have no idea who I am. My first memory is some college students handing me a thumbtack and a shee…

Mike Rophon

Staffwriter
Unknowable and Mysterious

Pennsylvania Jones

Staffwriter, Archaeologist
I belong in a museum

Phong

Staffwriter
None of the potentially incriminating things I've said in internal Readme communications (namely ██…

Ryan Chernoff

Contributor, Web developer
Has contributed absolute nothing to ReadMe and may very well not exist.

Sigmund Maille

Writer by trade, Sigma Male by passion
Despite what you may have heard about me, I do not hate women, rather I just want women to leave me…

Tali Kirschenbaum

Staff Editor, Staffwriter
Tali is a judgmental bitch who prefers critiquing others' work instead of creating her own, which i…

TheCountFan789

Protest Counter
Count von Count's number 1 fan! Definitely not the count himself. That vvould be very silly.

Wade Cheng

Staffwriter, Webmaster
Sometimes sillying. Periodically serious'd.

​"Tyan Rosh"

Staffwriter, Social Media
Pursuing a BS in Undecided, class of 2028. You'll never guess my name. IG: @ryantosh0