Violet R. Blu
she/her
Staffwriter
Communications, 2038 (master’s program)
Bio
I’m a hard-nosed student journalist. I spend my time cutting through the lies and lying on the Cut.
Fun fact
I dislike poetry.
Location
the oft-forgotten F-tower
Latest
Tongue Wrestler Fights Battle for Dominance
Since the dawn of humankind, the practice of wrestling has been used to determine social pecking orders. Countless fighters, from the Greeks to the Mughals to John Cena, have earned alpha status by turning their opponents into emasculated area rugs. It doesn’t matter whether people wrestle with bodies, arms, or thumbs. All variants of wrestling serve the same purpose: demonstrating the power of one person over another. This age-old purpose is what led to tongue wrestling, the newest frontier of the sport.
Wrestler Youssef Nassar, known professionally as Y/N, has pioneered an entirely new form of wrestling. He credits …
Tarring and Feathering: The Skincare Hack You've Never Heard Of
If you’re anything like me, you’ve been living through crazy times. Every piece of news from the town crier spikes your cortisol, disgusting soldiers keep asking to sleep with you, and herbal teas have become STUPIDLY expensive. (Seriously, girls. You might as well throw your money in the Boston Harbor.)
All of this stress is a recipe for breakouts. If your face looks like a topographical map of Bunker Hill, you’re not alone. We’ve received postage from readers across the colonies complaining that their skin is more oily than the inside of a musket. To all of these concerned …
Anti Anti Aging Cream
Have you ever realized shit, I look TOO youthful? Have you ever been rejected from ordering copious amounts of alcohol for being “underage”? Well, here at Dave’s Rare and Unusual New Kreations, our team of award-winning scientists has discovered a new way to acquire alcohol!
Introducing Anti-Anti-Aging Cream! It's a super simple product you put on your face twice, once a day. This product penetrates deep into your pores, making you look so old that people may think you're a walking zombie! Despite the FDA’s claims, this probably isn’t battery acid, and our product is known for working …
Local school defends diaper-wearing mascot from furry allegations
For schools all over the country, sports mascots represent a sense of school spirit and athletic pride. For Doherty Regional High School, however, their mascot represents something else: the ongoing debate about what constitutes a furry.
In order to investigate the situation, I did some field reporting and attended a DRHS football game. Doherty Regional’s home team, the Diaperwolves, played hard and beat the opposing team 23-16. Despite the team’s stellar performance, the crowd seemed focused on one thing and one thing only: DRHS’s mascot, Desmond the Diaperwolf. Someone, presumably an underpaid gym teacher, stood in front of the …
5 Inessential oils every parent doesn't need
Cold and flu season is fast approaching, and many mamas are wondering how to keep their littles healthy. If that sounds like you, then you’ve come to the right place! In my seven years as a Platinum Distributor at GaiaLife, I’ve learned that oils have a special power. Give any healthy child some essential oils, and they’ll be healthy in no time. Before you turn to Big Pharma this winter, I’d like to share my alternative medicine hacks. Without further ado, here are the top 5 inessential oils that mamas are saying they can live without!
Number 1: Peppermint …
Homework Trouble
Dear Professor Choset,
I hope you are having a wonderful day so far. I wanted to inform you of some extenuating circumstances that may delay the submission of my Introduction to Robotics final. You see, Professor Choset, I built the spiffiest little robot anyone’s ever seen. It walked and talked and did everything a robot should. I was jumping for joy, excited to show you and the other students of 16311 my technological marvel. But what happened, Professor Choset, was that another mechanical creature ran up to my project and tore it asunder! I looked at the little fiend’s …
Derealizating
Sometimes you don’t feel like a person. Sometimes you feel like you’re asleep and the people around you are guests on a podcast you forgot to turn off. There are a lot of words for this feeling, and most of them are long words starting with D: dissociation, disassociation, depersonalization, derealization. No one ever bothered to decide on one term. This is because people who derealizate have bigger nothings not to worry about.
Derealizating is portable. You can take it anywhere. As long as there’s a spot in the distance to stare at, you can peel yourself from this …