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KGB Presents: readme
Editor in Chief: Eshaan Joshi
All the news unfit to print!
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Mihir Deshpande

Mihir Deshpande

📍 Pyongyang | Pronouns: Cheese/Pizza
Email kfcusmedia@yum.com

Staffwriter

Something in SCS and robbing banks, SCS '28

Bio

I'm the guy who didn't know Pittsburgh had rivers for most of his freshman year.

Fun Fact

I never broke a bone (yet)

Previous Work

Interwar Update

Once again, we’d like to thank you, dear reader, for continuing to stick with readMe through these turbulent times. You probably never imagined that the US government would declare us illegal, but alas, much like cocaine and alcohol before us, it seems like Uncle Sam has a penchant for criminalizing …

Making Money on Campus

The unfortunate financial situation you’re in is not uncommon among new students. You may have managed to get into CMU — yippee! — but you had to give up your life savings and right arm in order to pay tuition. While Valentine’s Day will never be the same with the …

People you don't want to be alone in a booth with

A serial killer
A cereal killer (if you’re a box of Froot Loops®)
A cobra (SigEp is really putting in the work)
An IRS agent (who actually pays their taxes?)
A Jehovah’s Witness (now they have a way to solicit on-campus)
That guy who watches me through my window while …

Funny Pranks We Legally Can't Tell You To Pull During Carnival

Pulling pranks is great, just yesterday I pulled a hilarious prank where I put opioids in a guy’s beer. With Carnival leading to all kinds of people being out and about on campus, it's the perfect time for a little fun. But maybe you’re tired of the same old boring …

Kirby's Adventure NES Review

If you’re a masochist looking for a reason to bash your head against a wall for five hours straight, then Kirby’s Adventure for the Nintendo Entertainment System is the game for you. This eldritch abomination of a video game is the sole reason my NES is currently shoved in a …