Archibald The Great
Staffwriter
Tall, 1912
Bio
Former circus member, Lifelong Habsburg family member <3
Fun fact
I can do 16 types of activities.
Location
closer than you think
Latest
CMU Takes Position on Gates Divorce
In August of 2021, Bill Gates and Melinda French Gates got a divorce after 27 years of profitable marriage. While the couples' finances have since been settled, CMU has quietly ignored a brewing custody battle over the Gates' favorite child: the Gates-Hillman Center.
While the 9-story building was conceived by the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation in 2009, which is around the time Bill first became friends with Jeffrey Epstein, the Bill Gates Foundation and the Melinda Gates Foundation have since parted ways. They can no longer legally support the same causes, and that includes raising the young Gates …
SASC or SEX? New Coaching Workshop Draws Controversy
The Student Academic Success Center's new seminal seminar is under fire after students label it as "gross." The new seminar, designed specifically for finals week, outlines how students can best dress themselves to improve grade performance. "Dress for success!" said Dr. Lacey Skivvies, head of this new initiative. Dr. Skivvies hopes this new program will boost grades by as much as 69%, and contribute to "a more revealing understanding of academic success."
The workshop includes hands on demonstrations for how best to flirt with much older professors, as well as some wardrobe pieces provided free of charge from randomly …