New Study Finds Vaccines Cause CMU Students
Many parents have expressed concerns about the possible long-term complications of vaccinating their children. However, leading scientists recently discovered a positive relationship between childhood immunization and readiness for Carnegie Mellon University.
SCS freshman Lily Anderson received the measles-mumps rubella vaccine at age three. By age four, her parents had already begun to notice the markings of a gifted child. According to Anderson’s mother, Sheila, “Lily would sit there for hours solving algebraic equations. If a kid asked to play with her, she’d cover her ears and drown out the sound of their voice until they walked away. I think the vaccine made her more committed to academics.”
As Anderson got older, her dedication to learning didn’t wane at all, nor did her ability to resist distractions. Anderson’s father Greg described her unwillingness to party, stating, “Lily never went to those big ragers in high school. She preferred to spend her time in the quiet, dimly lit cocoon of her own bedroom. That level of focus is what Carnegie Mellon looks for.”
When contacted by ReadME, Anderson herself declined to offer comment, stating that she was too busy reading the Wikipedia page for 19th-century textile mills.