Untapped Niches in the U.S. Consumer Market
Dear reader, I have devoted countless hours over the course of years to rear these ideas; at this point, it is as if they were my children, as if I were giving you my children, and these are some of the finest idea children ever to have been brain birthed. Treat them with the reverence they deserve, and you shall be rewarded. When they make you buckets of money, I want half.
AI Doors
Doors are everywhere in modern life. So I find it a deplorable reflection of the sorry state of the “free market” that up till now, nobody has thought to implement modern LLMs into the door package. AI doors would feature sophisticated neural networks, yielding significant increases in their efficiency and output and revolutionizing the role of the door in the daily life of a North American.
Jellyfish NFTs
Ever wonder why NFTs are always monkeys? I have. Monkeys suck. They’re like humans, except if humans were smellier and poopier and fartier and had those ugly ass monkey noses. Introducing: jellyfish NFTs. NFTs centered around Gaia’s triumph: the peak of evolution, the ultimate lifeform. A far more sexy and erotic form of currency than any previously put into circulation.
AI Air Fryer
This innovation will bring the antiquated concept of an “air” “fryer” back into the spotlight of contemporary culture with AI integration, allowing for simplified strategic decision making and streamlined user experiences.
Lightsaber
schwing
Dog Vacuum Cleaner
Picking up dog poo poo. The little bag. It’s gross. Sometimes you don’t even feel like it, so you just kinda nudge it into someone’s yard. We’ve all been there. The dog vacuum cleaner solves that issue; instead of picking up the poo poo with a bag, you vacuum it. Sleek and postmodern. Plus bags are bad for the environment. People consume about a credit card’s worth of plastic every week. People don’t consume a credit card’s worth of vacuum cleaner every week. Just saying, you can be part of the problem or part of the solution.
Pasta with just cheese
It’s like mac ‘n’ cheese, but without the mac, but with pasta, but hold the pasta, because it’s just cheese, BABY! Any kind of pasta you like, any kind of cheese you like, with zero servings of pasta. It’s like spaghetti with marinara—except with no marinara— except with cheese—except with no spaghetti. All the cheesy, good cheese pasta you want, with only cheese.
AI sombreros
Little sombrero hat buddy to accompany you on your journeys. And make delightful quips along the way. Hat puns likely. Examples: “You hat to see it!” “What now, captain?” “Whoa, things are getting hair-y!” “Let’s hat-ch a plan!” AI powered. To generate new puns. Because I am all out.
Helicopter Plane
Helicopters can go high and fly in the sky because of their rotor blades. Planes also can do that too because of their wings. So why are vehicles restricted to one of these clearly very effective motion incurring devices each? The helicopter plane (or plopter, as I affectionately call it) is the next generation of aerial commute, featuring:
Wings
Rotors
Windows
Minigun
Dinosaurs
Everybody knows dinosaurs aren’t real. They’re just a myth parents tell their kids to get them to behave, like vegetable trolls, Santa Claus, or the IRS. But… What if they were? Imagine a world where you can ride a velociraptor around campus, or order GrubHub via pterodactyl, or maul your political adversaries to a brutal and visceral death with the help of your cherished pet spinosaurus, a parting gift from your late beloved grandmother. With modern technology, it’s possible: Using the power of artificial intelligence, dinosaurs.