Carnegie Mellon rabbits claim squatters rights
Rabbits have officially claimed squatters’ rights on the CMU Mall and CFA Lawn following years of occupation. The invasive creatures were first introduced fifty years ago when a freshman living in Mudge brought their hobby rabbit farm to campus. The university initially tried to contain them, but efforts ceased after a particularly short member of Furries@CMU was mistakenly shot.
Meanwhile, the rabbits continue to stake their claim on the land. They said (through a monkey that knows sign language), “PA Code § 5530 is clear that the rabbits have the right to live on CMU campus for eternity." CMU strongly disagrees: “We are closely consulting with our university lawyer to get these vermin off our holy land,” said a CMU spokesperson. “He’s very busy though, so it might be a bit.”
Using their newfound rights, the rabbits have already enlisted the help of the deer (also seeking squatters’ rights) to replant the Mall trees and construct a large model of a killer rabbit in front of the CFA. “You’re never putting up another tent on the CFA Lawn,” the rabbits taunted. CMU is currently working on a proposal to move the construction somewhere which satisfies all members of the community.