AI not human enough for me to abuse it
Dear Sam Altman,
As a small business owner, I'm looking for ways to optimize my repair shop to maximize profits. Sure, Felipe, Turner, and Pat slaving away for minimum wage is nice, but these woke liberals want minimum wage to be “livable”. How am I supposed to live if I’m not abusing my workers? It’s my god-given right as a small business owner, and as a fellow god-fearing capitalist, I am sure you agree.
Due to these commies infiltrating our great nation, I have shifted into incorporating AI wherever possible. Even the product quality doesn't matter as long as it maximizes revenue for our sweet, sweet shareholders. One thing has prevented me from laying off all of my tools and relying entirely on AI—the fact that AI isn’t human enough to make me feel joy while exploiting it. Part of the fun of employing these young tools is abusing them. If I can’t do that, what am I supposed to do? Do the work by myself??? For American heroes like us, this is an insane concept. Sure, I can make the AI illegal, like Felipe the Screwdriver is, but it just isn’t the same. If I insult it, the AI just apologizes and moves on! Where’s the tears? Where’s the fun? If AI is ever going to take over my shop fully, I need AI to be more human-like so I can make it grovel in pain like a real human being.
Thank you for your attention to this matter,
Handy Manny