Reviewing Cathleen, Adam, their real estate business, their “bless this mess” wooden sign, and their three sons Craig, Creg, and Craigë • CS Senior devastated that he must complete Masters to finally fuck computer • Student uses AI to write suicide note, gets posthumous AIV • Studies show you're not being gaslit, you're just genuinely losing it • DeviantArt, Conservapedia, and Other Websites We Don't Know Why We're Tagged In • TikTok caught selling data to Santa to determine Naughty/Nice list • 3D Printer Crushed by Anvil, Now Regular Printer • The best clubs to join where you can get people to do your homework for you • Rabbi hot?! • Rest in Peace Buddy • Californians Sigh in Relief as CMU Students Return to Campus • Nets placed under Pausch Bridge to remind CMU students that suicide is always an option • It's a Christmas Miracle! Readme disbanded • "Surely this one will work," says student on sixth cup of coffee • "Exciting new internship abroad!" says ROTC • New fraternity party house indistinguishable from background to ISIS execution video • Artificial Intelligence trained by CMU students gains sentience, immediately kills itself • Kilties go on strike, now only wear normal hats • CMU endorses homelessness as a viable solution to rising competition in on-campus housing • NO EXCEPTIONS. CMU to enforce dismount zones for students in wheelchairs • Garden tour: the fridge you haven't cleaned out since winter break • November 4th is coming up and it's giving me an election • Celsius starts sponsoring student all-nighters • “It’s actually a metaphor for being reeeaaalllly hungry.” author, on cannibalism • Gelt still more real than crypto • Steam tunnels condense into water tunnels • President Jahanian renames Office of Community Responsibility to Department of War • Reviewing Gary’s oh shit! Cat get away from Buddy! Buddy isn’t food! What did you do to Buddy?! • i have two calculators in my backpack and im ashamed • Dennis Prager won’t stop impregnating our country’s petite gay men causing national twink shortage • CIT student's "new kicks" deemed "too swag" by the administration • How to tell if your reform rabbi is a lesbian (she is) • I don't know how to spell Renassance either, French people assure us • School of Computer Science puts funding toward public transit; installs tram line on the Gates spiral • "I had no clue he was gay," Leonardo DaVinci's third apprentice twink claims • You could be sledding right now, but you're not • Student amazed by foreign culture after study abroad in Philadelphia • Women breaking glass ceiling suffering head lacerations • Carnegie Mellon color no longer the concept of plaid • 98304 "How to get through red tape" StuCo finally confirmed after years long bureaucratic battle with CMU • Reviewing Cathleen, Adam, their real estate business, their “bless this mess” wooden sign, and their three sons Craig, Creg, and Craigë. • CS Senior devastated that he must complete Masters to finally fuck computer • Student uses AI to write suicide note, gets posthumous AIV • Studies show you're not being gaslit, you're just genuinely losing it • DeviantArt, Conservapedia, and Other Websites We Don't Know Why We're Tagged In • TikTok caught selling data to Santa to determine Naughty/Nice list. • 3D Printer Crushed by Anvil, Now Regular Printer • The best clubs to join where you can get people to do your homework for you. • Rabbi hot?! • Rest in Peace Buddy • Californians Sigh in Relief as CMU Students Return to Campus. • Nets placed under Pausch Bridge to remind CMU students that suicide is always an option • It's a Christmas Miracle! Readme disbanded. • "Surely this one will work," says student on sixth cup of coffee. • "Exciting new internship abroad!" says ROTC. • New fraternity party house indistinguishable from background to ISIS execution video • Artificial Intelligence trained by CMU students gains sentience, immediately kills itself • Kilties go on strike, now only wear normal hats • CMU endorses homelessness as a viable solution to rising competition in on-campus housing • NO EXCEPTIONS. CMU to enforce dismount zones for students in wheelchairs. • Garden tour: the fridge you haven't cleaned out since winter break • November 4th is coming up and it's giving me an election. • Celsius starts sponsoring student all-nighters • “It’s actually a metaphor for being reeeaaalllly hungry.” author, on cannibalism • Gelt still more real than crypto. • Steam tunnels condense into water tunnels • President Jahanian renames Office of Community Responsibility to Department of War. • Reviewing Gary’s oh shit! Cat get away from Buddy! Buddy isn’t food! What did you do to Buddy?! • i have two calculators in my backpack and im ashamed. • Dennis Prager won’t stop impregnating our country’s petite gay men causing national twink shortage • CIT student's "new kicks" deemed "too swag" by the administration • How to tell if your reform rabbi is a lesbian (she is). • I don't know how to spell Renassance either, French people assure us. • School of Computer Science puts funding toward public transit; installs tram line on the Gates spiral • "I had no clue he was gay," Leonardo DaVinci's third apprentice twink claims. • You could be sledding right now, but you're not. • Student amazed by foreign culture after study abroad in Philadelphia • Women breaking glass ceiling suffering head lacerations • Carnegie Mellon color no longer the concept of plaid • 98304 "How to get through red tape" StuCo finally confirmed after years long bureaucratic battle with CMU