Entropy sold out on caffeneited drinks, caffeine tablets, coffeeflavored chocolate, and methamphetamine • REPORT: Tuition increase announced, will to be used for "absolutely nothing", admin says • In Farnam's absence, students erect golden Scotty Dog statue • King Solomon Attempts to divide up twins, mother requests they're both cut in half • I'm not going to do it, but it would be SO easy to kill my roommate, several report • CS Students shocked to discover classes have names • ReadMe bigger than Beatles, says Jesus • “It’s actually a metaphor for being reeeaaalllly hungry.” author, on cannibalism • Gallo determined responsible for mudslide in rock climbing gym • ReadMe so funny that they invented CMU to house it • SCC warns that buggy drivers may find themselves behind the wheel of a large automobile, and that booth chairs may find themselves in a beautiful house • Oops! All Eugenics! Student accidentally argues for eugenics during ethics class for seventeenth time this week • Buggy steroid use on raceday: an investigation • It's a Christmas Miracle! Readme disbanded • CMU kills suspected 122 cheater in targeted strike; 18 civilians dead • Protein folding orgy finally gets the structure right • Kilties go on strike, now only wear normal hats • 3D Printer Crushed by Anvil, Now Regular Printer • “I don’t have any finals this semester, just two projects, three papers…” • Homeless Ph.D. student holds fence for record 5 years, fails quals • Entropy sold out on caffeneited drinks, caffeine tablets, coffeeflavored chocolate, and methamphetamine • REPORT: Tuition increase announced, will to be used for "absolutely nothing", admin says • In Farnam's absence, students erect golden Scotty Dog statue • King Solomon Attempts to divide up twins, mother requests they're both cut in half. • I'm not going to do it, but it would be SO easy to kill my roommate, several report. • CS Students shocked to discover classes have names • ReadMe bigger than Beatles, says Jesus. • “It’s actually a metaphor for being reeeaaalllly hungry.” author, on cannibalism • Gallo determined responsible for mudslide in rock climbing gym. • ReadMe so funny that they invented CMU to house it. • SCC warns that buggy drivers may find themselves behind the wheel of a large automobile, and that booth chairs may find themselves in a beautiful house • Oops! All Eugenics! Student accidentally argues for eugenics during ethics class for seventeenth time this week • Buggy steroid use on raceday: an investigation • It's a Christmas Miracle! Readme disbanded. • CMU kills suspected 122 cheater in targeted strike; 18 civilians dead. • Protein folding orgy finally gets the structure right. • Kilties go on strike, now only wear normal hats • 3D Printer Crushed by Anvil, Now Regular Printer • “I don’t have any finals this semester, just two projects, three papers…” • Homeless Ph.D. student holds fence for record 5 years, fails quals
!["New study abroad program announced: Hell. Contact your advisor to apply today!" [image of Farnam Jahanian shaking hands with the devil, surrounded by flames] "*Tepper stuents will receive priority"](/media/vol2/issue7/images/studyAbroadHell_E8iR39q.png)
As booth organizations begin to design their booths for the 2025 Spring Carnival, Spring Carnival Committee has announced a controversial new slate of regulations for the upcoming semester. In a press release emailed out to all booth chairs SCC required all booth designs to comply with Hollywood’s 1934 Hays Code. …
![Coming soon...[readme logo with "uncensored" stamp] Sex! Drugs! Unedited fanfics! Be on the lookout for "readme, UNCENSORED"!](/media/vol1/issue6/images/readmeporn_KQtgXt5.png)
