Readme Summer School

Hero cop reads corpse Miranda rights • Complete works of Saphho discovered in a Home Depot • Carnegie Mellon color no longer the concept of plaid • Reviewing Craig, Creg, and Craigë’s lacrosse coach Jon, his second cousin Gary, and Gary’s dog Bubbles, fish Buddy, and cat Cat • In catastrophic scheduling snafu, every club at CMU has scheduled a meeting for the exact same time and date; "we really couldn't have predicted this", says student who scheduled a GBM for 5 pm on a Monday • President Jahanian renames Office of Community Responsibility to Department of War • Dedicated Gender Studies student finds clitoris, loses track of penis • SLICE defends university­-sanctioned orgies • The nutritional benefits of eating this newspaper • Ambitious professor covers 437 slides in a single lecture • Martha Stewart cleared of all murder charger between 1995­-96 • Anatomy class adds study inside component • Pennsylvania state law deems any number greater than 100 “frankly too many” • Santa is proud of you, even if no one else is • "It's not imposter syndrome, we did admit you as a mistake" admissions office admits • Booth chair discovers that "scissor lift violation" isn't a sex thing • Summer returns to Pittsburgh after covert groundhog assassination succeeds • Artemis 2's local Claude instance hallucinates, makes a call to the "blow_up_ship_violently_with_cameras_watching" API • For the upcoming Readme "Female" Issue: "Susan Be Shopping" • Sisyphus tired of being imagined happy, quoted: "Can one of you help me with this damn rock instead?" • Hero cop reads corpse Miranda rights. • Complete works of Saphho discovered in a Home Depot • Carnegie Mellon color no longer the concept of plaid • Reviewing Craig, Creg, and Craigë’s lacrosse coach Jon, his second cousin Gary, and Gary’s dog Bubbles, fish Buddy, and cat Cat • In catastrophic scheduling snafu, every club at CMU has scheduled a meeting for the exact same time and date; "we really couldn't have predicted this", says student who scheduled a GBM for 5 pm on a Monday. • President Jahanian renames Office of Community Responsibility to Department of War. • Dedicated Gender Studies student finds clitoris, loses track of penis • SLICE defends university­-sanctioned orgies • The nutritional benefits of eating this newspaper • Ambitious professor covers 437 slides in a single lecture. • Martha Stewart cleared of all murder charger between 1995­-96. • Anatomy class adds study inside component. • Pennsylvania state law deems any number greater than 100 “frankly too many” • Santa is proud of you, even if no one else is. • "It's not imposter syndrome, we did admit you as a mistake" admissions office admits • Booth chair discovers that "scissor lift violation" isn't a sex thing • Summer returns to Pittsburgh after covert groundhog assassination succeeds. • Artemis 2's local Claude instance hallucinates, makes a call to the "blow_up_ship_violently_with_cameras_watching" API. • For the upcoming Readme "Female" Issue: "Susan Be Shopping" • Sisyphus tired of being imagined happy, quoted: "Can one of you help me with this damn rock instead?"