Reviewing Craig, Creg, and Craigë’s lacrosse coach Jon, his second cousin Gary, and Gary’s dog Bubbles, fish Buddy, and cat Cat • Rabbi hot?! • A numbered list of my favorite types of bullet points and a bulleted list of my favorite types of numbers • CMU Administration shocked why students are still sad, "We gave you guys a Carnival?" • Architectures, Civil Engineers meet to discuss making Carnegie Mellon infrastructure even more unfriendly • Should the student handbook legalize blackmail? • Kilties go on strike, now only wear normal hats • SDC Booth delayed due to noncompliance with city zoning regulations • Post-Gazette editorial board devastated to discover Hitler not endorseable candidate for 2028 • Wind storm politely opens door, walks inside CMU building, and breaks every computer • A day in the life of Jane Street's unsuccessful younger brother, Sesame • "It's not imposter syndrome, we did admit you as a mistake" admissions office admits • Reviewing Gary’s oh shit! Cat get away from Buddy! Buddy isn’t food! What did you do to Buddy?! • The Pitt season 2 production leaves 3 injured, 1 dead • Tucker Carlson finally proposes to Green M&M • Scotty dissection reveals eerily human skeleton inside • Admin continues to insist that you can't spell anything else with the letters C, M, and U • “It’s actually a metaphor for being reeeaaalllly hungry.” author, on cannibalism • "I had no clue he was gay," Leonardo DaVinci's third apprentice twink claims • President's Advisory Board on Student Well-Being, Mental Health, and the Academic Experience releases first report: "It's bad." • Reviewing Craig, Creg, and Craigë’s lacrosse coach Jon, his second cousin Gary, and Gary’s dog Bubbles, fish Buddy, and cat Cat • Rabbi hot?! • A numbered list of my favorite types of bullet points and a bulleted list of my favorite types of numbers. • CMU Administration shocked why students are still sad, "We gave you guys a Carnival?" • Architectures, Civil Engineers meet to discuss making Carnegie Mellon infrastructure even more unfriendly • Should the student handbook legalize blackmail? • Kilties go on strike, now only wear normal hats • SDC Booth delayed due to noncompliance with city zoning regulations • Post-Gazette editorial board devastated to discover Hitler not endorseable candidate for 2028. • Wind storm politely opens door, walks inside CMU building, and breaks every computer. • A day in the life of Jane Street's unsuccessful younger brother, Sesame. • "It's not imposter syndrome, we did admit you as a mistake" admissions office admits • Reviewing Gary’s oh shit! Cat get away from Buddy! Buddy isn’t food! What did you do to Buddy?! • The Pitt season 2 production leaves 3 injured, 1 dead. • Tucker Carlson finally proposes to Green M&M. • Scotty dissection reveals eerily human skeleton inside. • Admin continues to insist that you can't spell anything else with the letters C, M, and U. • “It’s actually a metaphor for being reeeaaalllly hungry.” author, on cannibalism • "I had no clue he was gay," Leonardo DaVinci's third apprentice twink claims. • President's Advisory Board on Student Well-Being, Mental Health, and the Academic Experience releases first report: "It's bad."
!["Drowning in tuition debt? Ready to win big!? CMU is proud to announce that students now have the option to "Double or Nothing" their tuition!" [photo of Warner Hall with large "CASINO" letters]](/media/vol2/issue0/images/doubleOrNothingAd_CHdzASZ.png)
![A photo taken with a smartphone camera at night of one of the sculptures of a person at the base of walking to the sky, with harsh front-camera selfie lighting. A Snapchat-style text overlay reads: "Nooo don't walk to the sky, your [sic] so sexy ahaha"](/media/vol4/issue3/images/walktoskysexy_Wl0KjRf.png)
