Report: Voices in your head usually correct, studies show • My Military Industrial Complex could totally blow up your Military Industrial Complex • We lowballed our CMU tuition on Facebook Marketplace • Noah complains that God's 'gone woke' after Ark flooded • Student trains for Olympic speedwalking by signing up for class in Mellon Institute • Heart in Work now considered dangerous conditions, scientists aghast • Student uses AI to write suicide note, gets posthumous AIV • CMU student lives in a barrel, claims it's better than first year housing • Biology department recommends students engineer another pandemic for finals reprieve, extra credit offered • “I have no way of knowing”, says person who could very easily look it up • Top 10 CMU buildings I'd pick up if I were Godzilla • SCS class names shortened to series of grunts and whistles • 5th year "senior" suspiciously eager to apply to be an orientation counselor • CS Senior devastated that he must complete Masters to finally fuck computer • Student Government shutdown looms as Senate fails to ratify budget • King Charles III to consider castling • CMU partners with CMR to release 60mph mobility scooter • i have two calculators in my backpack and im ashamed • Investors in shambles as numbers aren't going up • Oops! All Eugenics! Student accidentally argues for eugenics during ethics class for seventeenth time this week • Anatomy class adds study inside component • “It’s actually a metaphor for being reeeaaalllly hungry.” author, on cannibalism • They may take our lives, but they'll NEVER take our US NEWS rankings! • Carnegie Mellon color no longer the concept of plaid • Dennis Prager won’t stop impregnating our country’s petite gay men causing national twink shortage • Physics professor explains the heat death of the universe in terms of cold, soggy Rev Noodle • All of Science wrong. Oops • Reindeer waste on Epstein Island raises concerns • Student Senate Elections Board excited to see more students than ever interesting in voting them out • Undeterred, Sydney Sweeney stars in new Tide ad explaining the importance in separating whites and coloreds • Is that Nazi salute or is Elon Musk just happy to see me? • Ethics Student a little too aroused by South African history • CMU Physics rises to #1 worldwide following particle accelerator heist • White boy SHOCKS locals by speaking in fluent Chinese accent • Admin continues to insist that you can't spell anything else with the letters C, M, and U • CPS intervenes after a drunken Big Pharma beats Little Pharma • TechSpark welding class closes due to numerous math students attempting to make Klein bottles • DeviantArt, Conservapedia, and Other Websites We Don't Know Why We're Tagged In • World Peace finally achieved after man starts Israel-Palestine argument in comments of a cat video • It's not blood libel, it's just a better skin care routine • Report: Voices in your head usually correct, studies show. • My Military Industrial Complex could totally blow up your Military Industrial Complex • We lowballed our CMU tuition on Facebook Marketplace • Noah complains that God's 'gone woke' after Ark flooded. • Student trains for Olympic speedwalking by signing up for class in Mellon Institute • Heart in Work now considered dangerous conditions, scientists aghast • Student uses AI to write suicide note, gets posthumous AIV • CMU student lives in a barrel, claims it's better than first year housing • Biology department recommends students engineer another pandemic for finals reprieve, extra credit offered • “I have no way of knowing”, says person who could very easily look it up • Top 10 CMU buildings I'd pick up if I were Godzilla. • SCS class names shortened to series of grunts and whistles • 5th year "senior" suspiciously eager to apply to be an orientation counselor. • CS Senior devastated that he must complete Masters to finally fuck computer • Student Government shutdown looms as Senate fails to ratify budget • King Charles III to consider castling • CMU partners with CMR to release 60mph mobility scooter. • i have two calculators in my backpack and im ashamed. • Investors in shambles as numbers aren't going up. • Oops! All Eugenics! Student accidentally argues for eugenics during ethics class for seventeenth time this week • Anatomy class adds study inside component. • “It’s actually a metaphor for being reeeaaalllly hungry.” author, on cannibalism • They may take our lives, but they'll NEVER take our US NEWS rankings! • Carnegie Mellon color no longer the concept of plaid • Dennis Prager won’t stop impregnating our country’s petite gay men causing national twink shortage • Physics professor explains the heat death of the universe in terms of cold, soggy Rev Noodle • All of Science wrong. Oops. • Reindeer waste on Epstein Island raises concerns. • Student Senate Elections Board excited to see more students than ever interesting in voting them out • Undeterred, Sydney Sweeney stars in new Tide ad explaining the importance in separating whites and coloreds. • Is that Nazi salute or is Elon Musk just happy to see me? • Ethics Student a little too aroused by South African history. • CMU Physics rises to #1 worldwide following particle accelerator heist. • White boy SHOCKS locals by speaking in fluent Chinese accent. • Admin continues to insist that you can't spell anything else with the letters C, M, and U. • CPS intervenes after a drunken Big Pharma beats Little Pharma • TechSpark welding class closes due to numerous math students attempting to make Klein bottles • DeviantArt, Conservapedia, and Other Websites We Don't Know Why We're Tagged In • World Peace finally achieved after man starts Israel-Palestine argument in comments of a cat video. • It's not blood libel, it's just a better skin care routine.
!["How many times did you vote this election? (Sample Size: 500 students)" [a pie chart with the following data: 0–2 is 29.5%, 3–5 is 47.7%, 6–10 is 15.9%, and 11+ is 6.8%]](/media/vol2/issue5/images/votepoll_2RXCJ8K.png)
