Armed Martial Arts Clubs' Membership Skyrockets as new policy allows students to challenge AIVs by dueling • Victorian Child unimpressed by current labor standards, "You can't do anything these days!" • C@CMU: CMU's cultural touchstone • I met Santa Claus, she's black • 3D Printer Crushed by Anvil, Now Regular Printer • Student amazed by foreign culture after study abroad in Philadelphia • Having a single thought about 15-122 now considered an AIV • Student Senate elections held, "who?" found to be most common response • “I have no way of knowing”, says person who could very easily look it up • Chartwells pilots innovative Sustenance-as-a-Service model • Dennis Prager won’t stop impregnating our country’s petite gay men causing national twink shortage • REPORT: Carnegie Mellon students so afraid of the sun they only go outside during eclipse • How to make sure the divorce is YOUR fault, a guide for teens • Oops! All Eugenics! Student accidentally argues for eugenics during ethics class for seventeenth time this week • Gallo determined responsible for mudslide in rock climbing gym • Man showing off new AI model really wants you to stop asking questions about ethics • Student who once contemplated an evening of selfcare and early sleep now facing the consequences of shitty time management • MAHA movement vows to move Stack'd off-campus to lower student obesity • CS Students shocked to discover classes have names • Year 84 of nobody named Oscar winning an Oscar • That freshman you met during the O-week floor meet-and-greet is not your future husband • Are you tired of being normal? I'm not, so fuck you! • There is nothing funny about erectile dysfunction • Shocking new scandal breaks as leaked report reveals Tim Walz saved puppy from drowning • Meta-analysis of several studies conclude that Gen Alpha sucks at drinking • Californians Sigh in Relief as CMU Students Return to Campus • “It’s actually a metaphor for being reeeaaalllly hungry.” author, on cannibalism • DeviantArt, Conservapedia, and Other Websites We Don't Know Why We're Tagged In • Naughty List leaked • Dreamworks newest IP revealed: "How to train your LLM" • With CMU named as "New Ivy" by Forbes, efforts underway to inflate QPAs and decrease minority enrollment • Reviewing Cathleen, Adam, their real estate business, their “bless this mess” wooden sign, and their three sons Craig, Creg, and Craigë • Tartan branded adderall popular among seniors trying to graduate on time • CMU partners with CMR to release 60mph mobility scooter • SLICE defends university-sanctioned orgies • Is that Nazi salute or is Elon Musk just happy to see me? • Hilbert Hotel relocated to Doherty • My Professor Had One Comment After Viewing My Final Project: “This Sucks” • TechSpark welding class closes due to numerous math students attempting to make Klein bottles • We lowballed our CMU tuition on Facebook Marketplace • Armed Martial Arts Clubs' Membership Skyrockets as new policy allows students to challenge AIVs by dueling • Victorian Child unimpressed by current labor standards, "You can't do anything these days!" • C@CMU: CMU's cultural touchstone • I met Santa Claus, she's black. • 3D Printer Crushed by Anvil, Now Regular Printer • Student amazed by foreign culture after study abroad in Philadelphia • Having a single thought about 15-122 now considered an AIV • Student Senate elections held, "who?" found to be most common response • “I have no way of knowing”, says person who could very easily look it up • Chartwells pilots innovative Sustenance-as-a-Service model. • Dennis Prager won’t stop impregnating our country’s petite gay men causing national twink shortage • REPORT: Carnegie Mellon students so afraid of the sun they only go outside during eclipse • How to make sure the divorce is YOUR fault, a guide for teens • Oops! All Eugenics! Student accidentally argues for eugenics during ethics class for seventeenth time this week • Gallo determined responsible for mudslide in rock climbing gym. • Man showing off new AI model really wants you to stop asking questions about ethics. • Student who once contemplated an evening of selfcare and early sleep now facing the consequences of shitty time management • MAHA movement vows to move Stack'd off-campus to lower student obesity • CS Students shocked to discover classes have names • Year 84 of nobody named Oscar winning an Oscar • That freshman you met during the O-week floor meet-and-greet is not your future husband. • Are you tired of being normal? I'm not, so fuck you! • There is nothing funny about erectile dysfunction • Shocking new scandal breaks as leaked report reveals Tim Walz saved puppy from drowning • Meta-analysis of several studies conclude that Gen Alpha sucks at drinking. • Californians Sigh in Relief as CMU Students Return to Campus. • “It’s actually a metaphor for being reeeaaalllly hungry.” author, on cannibalism • DeviantArt, Conservapedia, and Other Websites We Don't Know Why We're Tagged In • Naughty List leaked. • Dreamworks newest IP revealed: "How to train your LLM". • With CMU named as "New Ivy" by Forbes, efforts underway to inflate QPAs and decrease minority enrollment • Reviewing Cathleen, Adam, their real estate business, their “bless this mess” wooden sign, and their three sons Craig, Creg, and Craigë. • Tartan branded adderall popular among seniors trying to graduate on time • CMU partners with CMR to release 60mph mobility scooter. • SLICE defends university-sanctioned orgies • Is that Nazi salute or is Elon Musk just happy to see me? • Hilbert Hotel relocated to Doherty • My Professor Had One Comment After Viewing My Final Project: “This Sucks” • TechSpark welding class closes due to numerous math students attempting to make Klein bottles • We lowballed our CMU tuition on Facebook Marketplace
