The Tell-Tale Tartan
The idea first entered with levity.
A prank, someone said.
A joke, said another.
A bit, I asserted, and all agreed this was the fairest possible framing.
This was no exercise in greed. I desired not money and, indeed, am hardly starved of such, given my …
What to say to a tour guide
It is admitted students weekend. Yes, it is Carnival, but it is also admitted students weekend. And admitted students weekend means it is the perfect opportunity to impart some well-earned knowledge upon the bright-eyed pests scurrying about campus, excited for their “futures” or whatever. Because caring about that’s lame as …

MIDWAY, Pittsburgh — in a chaotic scene, officials from the Pittsburgh Department of Health, Safety, and Tiny Wooden Houses have taken control of Midway following Farnham Jahanian’s decision to shut down Midway. The controversial decision was made following reports of numerous OSHA violations violated during Booth construction. The Spring Carnival …


