President Jahanian renames Office of Community Responsibility to Department of War • Entropy sold out on caffeneited drinks, caffeine tablets, coffeeflavored chocolate, and methamphetamine • Computer Science Department in trouble as rubber ducks go on strike • Tucker Carlson finally proposes to Green M&M • Gelt still more real than crypto • Tenth dentist speaks out • I met Santa Claus, she's black • In devastating blow to CMU culture, freshmen are allowed to talk to upperclassmen • CIT student's "new kicks" deemed "too swag" by the administration • "I had no clue he was gay," Leonardo DaVinci's third apprentice twink claims • CMU sends too many acceptance letters, Class of 2029 cancelled • CMU student lives in a barrel, claims it's better than first year housing • Hillman very angry to discover nobody knows which building is his • Sweepstakes Chair bans buggy-driving amputees, claiming they have competitive advantage • “I have no way of knowing”, says person who could very easily look it up • CMU students shocked to discover relationships exist outside of movies • Lawmakers determine abortion to be legal only when Mercury is in retrograde • Everyone still remembers that time you pulled several times on a push door. Everyone • CPS intervenes after a drunken Big Pharma beats Little Pharma • Sliced bread invented. Honestly, not that cool • Loving Couple LARP as bitter, nearly-separated divorcees • Oops! All Eugenics! Student accidentally argues for eugenics during ethics class for seventeenth time this week • My Military Industrial Complex could totally blow up your Military Industrial Complex • Dreamworks newest IP revealed: "How to train your LLM" • White boy SHOCKS locals by speaking in fluent Chinese accent • Wildlife conservation group takes "CMU English Major" off of endangered species list following recordsetting 7 students enrolled • Kilties go on strike, now only wear normal hats • Martha Stewart cleared of all murder charger between 1995-96 • Mom if I find the afikomen can I have my turn on the space laser • New show “Nothing in this room is cake please stop cutting my stuff in half” is a Netflix sensation • DeviantArt, Conservapedia, and Other Websites We Don't Know Why We're Tagged In • Report: Voices in your head usually correct, studies show • It's not blood libel, it's just a better skin care routine • This Article Replaces Your Bioraft Training • Why the liberal left wants to make the face in the electrical outlets smiley instead of frowny • It's a Christmas Miracle! Readme disbanded • Modern Romeo and Juliet Thwarted by Ring Camera • Hasbro publishes internship rejection trading card game • 10 ways to avoid getting embroiled in a pedophillia scandal, #6 will shock you! • Drama students celebrate thirty second increase in free time • President Jahanian renames Office of Community Responsibility to Department of War. • Entropy sold out on caffeneited drinks, caffeine tablets, coffeeflavored chocolate, and methamphetamine • Computer Science Department in trouble as rubber ducks go on strike • Tucker Carlson finally proposes to Green M&M. • Gelt still more real than crypto. • Tenth dentist speaks out • I met Santa Claus, she's black. • In devastating blow to CMU culture, freshmen are allowed to talk to upperclassmen • CIT student's "new kicks" deemed "too swag" by the administration • "I had no clue he was gay," Leonardo DaVinci's third apprentice twink claims. • CMU sends too many acceptance letters, Class of 2029 cancelled • CMU student lives in a barrel, claims it's better than first year housing • Hillman very angry to discover nobody knows which building is his • Sweepstakes Chair bans buggy-driving amputees, claiming they have competitive advantage • “I have no way of knowing”, says person who could very easily look it up • CMU students shocked to discover relationships exist outside of movies. • Lawmakers determine abortion to be legal only when Mercury is in retrograde • Everyone still remembers that time you pulled several times on a push door. Everyone. • CPS intervenes after a drunken Big Pharma beats Little Pharma • Sliced bread invented. Honestly, not that cool. • Loving Couple LARP as bitter, nearly-separated divorcees • Oops! All Eugenics! Student accidentally argues for eugenics during ethics class for seventeenth time this week • My Military Industrial Complex could totally blow up your Military Industrial Complex • Dreamworks newest IP revealed: "How to train your LLM". • White boy SHOCKS locals by speaking in fluent Chinese accent. • Wildlife conservation group takes "CMU English Major" off of endangered species list following recordsetting 7 students enrolled • Kilties go on strike, now only wear normal hats • Martha Stewart cleared of all murder charger between 1995-96. • Mom if I find the afikomen can I have my turn on the space laser. • New show “Nothing in this room is cake please stop cutting my stuff in half” is a Netflix sensation • DeviantArt, Conservapedia, and Other Websites We Don't Know Why We're Tagged In • Report: Voices in your head usually correct, studies show. • It's not blood libel, it's just a better skin care routine. • This Article Replaces Your Bioraft Training • Why the liberal left wants to make the face in the electrical outlets smiley instead of frowny • It's a Christmas Miracle! Readme disbanded. • Modern Romeo and Juliet Thwarted by Ring Camera • Hasbro publishes internship rejection trading card game. • 10 ways to avoid getting embroiled in a pedophillia scandal, #6 will shock you! • Drama students celebrate thirty second increase in free time
![[TODO]](/media/vol4/issue6/images/liminal_Wf5b1Kv.png)
!["How many times did you vote this election? (Sample Size: 500 students)" [a pie chart with the following data: 0–2 is 29.5%, 3–5 is 47.7%, 6–10 is 15.9%, and 11+ is 6.8%]](/media/vol2/issue5/images/votepoll_2RXCJ8K.png)
![[TODO]](/media/vol3/issue1/images/whitethings_KGhU1PS.png)
