Readme Wins Gold

A day in the life of Jane Street's unsuccessful younger brother, Sesame • Amid mental health crisis, Google image searches for “scary werewolf” outnumber searches for “silly dog” • Santa takes unannounced detour, US goes to DEFCON 2 • World Peace finally achieved after man starts Israel­-Palestine argument in comments of a cat video • How to tell if your reform rabbi is a lesbian (she is) • Rabbi hot?! • Dreamworks newest IP revealed: "How to train your LLM" • Tucker Carlson finally proposes to Green M&M • Gelt still more real than crypto • Can President Joe Biden please presidentially pardon my AIV? • Student Government shutdown looms as Senate fails to ratify budget • Student amazed by foreign culture after study abroad in Philadelphia • Scotty dissection reveals eerily human skeleton inside • Breaking news: student from California realizes ash falling from sky is actually snow • King Solomon Attempts to divide up twins, mother requests they're both cut in half • I walked to the sky and all I got was this lousy T-shirt • Buggy steroid use on raceday: an investigation • TechSpark welding class closes due to numerous math students attempting to make Klein bottles • How to not have your self-esteem brought down by all the clearly smarter students in your tour group • Woman with 17,000 tinder matches gets her accounted deleted, makes a grinder account instead • EMS attempts to tackle STDs, declares immediate victory • ReadMe a huge proponent of meth as children's study aid • CMU Physics rises to #1 worldwide following particle accelerator heist • i have two calculators in my backpack and im ashamed • Classic 90s songs we've all forgotten: 1. I Just Got An Abortion (And It Felt So Good) • CMU sends too many acceptance letters, Class of 2029 cancelled • Victorian Child unimpressed by current labor standards, "You can't do anything these days!" • How to make sure the divorce is YOUR fault, a guide for teens • Creator of Bradford pear tree amongst first to be killed on invention of time travel • USNews names CMU number 1 school named after Andrew Carnegie and Andrew Mellon for the 125th year in a row • "What do you mean they don't know the difference between wet layup and prepreg?" CMU students shocked by lackluster carbon fiber fabrication knowledge of average person • Actual fire in Morewood; No one leaves this time • A two sentence horror story: "I walk into my Intro ML final. There is a single GPU placed at everyone's desk." • President's Advisory Board on Student Well-Being, Mental Health, and the Academic Experience releases first report: "It's bad." • CS Students shocked to discover classes have names • Tragedy kills $400,000 worth of tuition • How to choose the most poetic sequence of four groups to persecute • I met Santa Claus, she's black • Shocking new scandal breaks as leaked report reveals Tim Walz saved puppy from drowning • Drinking in Young Adult Duos Study discovers new kind of alcohol poisoning • A day in the life of Jane Street's unsuccessful younger brother, Sesame. • Amid mental health crisis, Google image searches for “scary werewolf” outnumber searches for “silly dog” • Santa takes unannounced detour, US goes to DEFCON 2. • World Peace finally achieved after man starts Israel­-Palestine argument in comments of a cat video. • How to tell if your reform rabbi is a lesbian (she is). • Rabbi hot?! • Dreamworks newest IP revealed: "How to train your LLM". • Tucker Carlson finally proposes to Green M&M. • Gelt still more real than crypto. • Can President Joe Biden please presidentially pardon my AIV? • Student Government shutdown looms as Senate fails to ratify budget • Student amazed by foreign culture after study abroad in Philadelphia • Scotty dissection reveals eerily human skeleton inside. • Breaking news: student from California realizes ash falling from sky is actually snow • King Solomon Attempts to divide up twins, mother requests they're both cut in half. • I walked to the sky and all I got was this lousy T-shirt • Buggy steroid use on raceday: an investigation • TechSpark welding class closes due to numerous math students attempting to make Klein bottles • How to not have your self-esteem brought down by all the clearly smarter students in your tour group • Woman with 17,000 tinder matches gets her accounted deleted, makes a grinder account instead • EMS attempts to tackle STDs, declares immediate victory • ReadMe a huge proponent of meth as children's study aid. • CMU Physics rises to #1 worldwide following particle accelerator heist. • i have two calculators in my backpack and im ashamed. • Classic 90s songs we've all forgotten: 1. I Just Got An Abortion (And It Felt So Good) • CMU sends too many acceptance letters, Class of 2029 cancelled • Victorian Child unimpressed by current labor standards, "You can't do anything these days!" • How to make sure the divorce is YOUR fault, a guide for teens • Creator of Bradford pear tree amongst first to be killed on invention of time travel. • USNews names CMU number 1 school named after Andrew Carnegie and Andrew Mellon for the 125th year in a row • "What do you mean they don't know the difference between wet layup and prepreg?" CMU students shocked by lackluster carbon fiber fabrication knowledge of average person. • Actual fire in Morewood; No one leaves this time. • A two sentence horror story: "I walk into my Intro ML final. There is a single GPU placed at everyone's desk." • President's Advisory Board on Student Well-Being, Mental Health, and the Academic Experience releases first report: "It's bad." • CS Students shocked to discover classes have names • Tragedy kills $400,000 worth of tuition. • How to choose the most poetic sequence of four groups to persecute • I met Santa Claus, she's black. • Shocking new scandal breaks as leaked report reveals Tim Walz saved puppy from drowning • Drinking in Young Adult Duos Study discovers new kind of alcohol poisoning