Pope endorses climbing Hamerschlag as only "holy" contraception: "your gametes will be smote by the power of God • Booth Chairs and School of Drama compete to see who can violate the most labor laws • Admin continues to insist that you can't spell anything else with the letters C, M, and U • Deer given proper therapy and antidepressants significantly less likely to freeze in front of cars • Sliced bread invented. Honestly, not that cool • Reviewing Cathleen, Adam, their real estate business, their “bless this mess” wooden sign, and their three sons Craig, Creg, and Craigë • CMU partners with CMR to release 60mph mobility scooter • Philosopher finally discovers the meaning of life, claims it's "not really all that special, honestly" • I don't know how to spell Renassance either, French people assure us • Man-Woman Interaction institute forced to extrapolate from low sample size • CS Students shocked to discover classes have names • What linear algebra can teach you about your parent’s sex lives • Amid mental health crisis, Google image searches for “scary werewolf” outnumber searches for “silly dog” • Carnival will be a nice time to decompress, says student planning on staying up for 72 straight hours to build a two story house • SCS opens research problem into computational complexity of hitting N birds with 1 stone • Internship interviews now include mandatory duel to the death • In shocking news, 112 grading party turns into a freeforall as TAs fight for last slices of cold pizza • How to make sure the divorce is YOUR fault, a guide for teens • There is nothing funny about erectile dysfunction • Top scientists suggest ReadMe will generate an original joke by 2030 • Banana shortage has monkeys going bananas • Due to overenrollment, CMU to add 4 AM exam slots • My Professor Had One Comment After Viewing My Final Project: “This Sucks” • Carnegie Mellon color no longer the concept of plaid • Can President Joe Biden please presidentially pardon my AIV? • White boy SHOCKS locals by speaking in fluent Chinese accent • "What do you mean they don't know the difference between wet layup and prepreg?" CMU students shocked by lackluster carbon fiber fabrication knowledge of average person • Artificial Intelligence trained by CMU students gains sentience, immediately kills itself • Is that Nazi salute or is Elon Musk just happy to see me? • How I stopped worrying and learned to love the dorm shower mold • Tragedy kills $400,000 worth of tuition • The Tartan purchased by Fox News, Sean Hannity to take over as Editor-in-Chief • Novel studies demonstrate that drinking water and eating food are good for you, pulling all nighters and shotgunning Celsius are bad • The Underground meets newest competitor, the Aboveceiling • Chartwells pilots innovative Sustenance-as-a-Service model • Gregor Samsa wakes, horrified, to find himself transformed into Tepper student • District Attorney unable to rule out murder as Buggy Alumni Association hit • Report: Voices in your head usually correct, studies show • Rabbi hot?! • Victim Escapes Samsara • Pope endorses climbing Hamerschlag as only "holy" contraception: "your gametes will be smote by the power of God. • Booth Chairs and School of Drama compete to see who can violate the most labor laws • Admin continues to insist that you can't spell anything else with the letters C, M, and U. • Deer given proper therapy and antidepressants significantly less likely to freeze in front of cars. • Sliced bread invented. Honestly, not that cool. • Reviewing Cathleen, Adam, their real estate business, their “bless this mess” wooden sign, and their three sons Craig, Creg, and Craigë. • CMU partners with CMR to release 60mph mobility scooter. • Philosopher finally discovers the meaning of life, claims it's "not really all that special, honestly" • I don't know how to spell Renassance either, French people assure us. • Man-Woman Interaction institute forced to extrapolate from low sample size. • CS Students shocked to discover classes have names • What linear algebra can teach you about your parent’s sex lives. • Amid mental health crisis, Google image searches for “scary werewolf” outnumber searches for “silly dog” • Carnival will be a nice time to decompress, says student planning on staying up for 72 straight hours to build a two story house • SCS opens research problem into computational complexity of hitting N birds with 1 stone • Internship interviews now include mandatory duel to the death • In shocking news, 112 grading party turns into a freeforall as TAs fight for last slices of cold pizza • How to make sure the divorce is YOUR fault, a guide for teens • There is nothing funny about erectile dysfunction • Top scientists suggest ReadMe will generate an original joke by 2030. • Banana shortage has monkeys going bananas • Due to overenrollment, CMU to add 4 AM exam slots • My Professor Had One Comment After Viewing My Final Project: “This Sucks” • Carnegie Mellon color no longer the concept of plaid • Can President Joe Biden please presidentially pardon my AIV? • White boy SHOCKS locals by speaking in fluent Chinese accent. • "What do you mean they don't know the difference between wet layup and prepreg?" CMU students shocked by lackluster carbon fiber fabrication knowledge of average person. • Artificial Intelligence trained by CMU students gains sentience, immediately kills itself • Is that Nazi salute or is Elon Musk just happy to see me? • How I stopped worrying and learned to love the dorm shower mold. • Tragedy kills $400,000 worth of tuition. • The Tartan purchased by Fox News, Sean Hannity to take over as Editor-in-Chief • Novel studies demonstrate that drinking water and eating food are good for you, pulling all nighters and shotgunning Celsius are bad. • The Underground meets newest competitor, the Aboveceiling • Chartwells pilots innovative Sustenance-as-a-Service model. • Gregor Samsa wakes, horrified, to find himself transformed into Tepper student • District Attorney unable to rule out murder as Buggy Alumni Association hit. • Report: Voices in your head usually correct, studies show. • Rabbi hot?! • Victim Escapes Samsara.
