Meta-analysis of several studies conclude that Gen Alpha sucks at drinking • readme too single to have Valentine's Day Edition • Novel studies demonstrate that drinking water and eating food are good for you, pulling all nighters and shotgunning Celsius are bad • CMU student signs up for Qatar course by mistake, forced to commute 14,000 miles/day • Subway unveils new protein option for sandwiches named "liquefied vagrants" • 10 ways to avoid getting embroiled in a pedophillia scandal, #6 will shock you! • The existential horror of nap time: A retrospective • Reviewing Cathleen, Adam, their real estate business, their “bless this mess” wooden sign, and their three sons Craig, Creg, and Craigë • "If Mozart and Chopin can drop new shit in 2024 so can My Chemical Romance", claim increasingly irate emo fans • Wild Blue opens as gas station food for buggy repair depot • School of Drama declares succession from Carnegie Mellon, relocating to a place with "fewer nerds" • Is your polycule centralized, or peer-to-peer? Find out now! • Remember to tip your TAs! • Administration to build new Student Academic Failure Center just for you • Internship interviews now include mandatory duel to the death • ReadMe so funny that they invented CMU to house it • Ambitious professor covers 437 slides in a single lecture • Loving Couple LARP as bitter, nearly-separated divorcees • Scotty Survivor participants go full Lord of the Flies. Show banned in three states and also Khazakhstan • CMU endorses homelessness as a viable solution to rising competition in on-campus housing • Meta-analysis of several studies conclude that Gen Alpha sucks at drinking. • readme too single to have Valentine's Day Edition • Novel studies demonstrate that drinking water and eating food are good for you, pulling all nighters and shotgunning Celsius are bad. • CMU student signs up for Qatar course by mistake, forced to commute 14,000 miles/day • Subway unveils new protein option for sandwiches named "liquefied vagrants" • 10 ways to avoid getting embroiled in a pedophillia scandal, #6 will shock you! • The existential horror of nap time: A retrospective • Reviewing Cathleen, Adam, their real estate business, their “bless this mess” wooden sign, and their three sons Craig, Creg, and Craigë. • "If Mozart and Chopin can drop new shit in 2024 so can My Chemical Romance", claim increasingly irate emo fans • Wild Blue opens as gas station food for buggy repair depot. • School of Drama declares succession from Carnegie Mellon, relocating to a place with "fewer nerds" • Is your polycule centralized, or peer-to-peer? Find out now! • Remember to tip your TAs! • Administration to build new Student Academic Failure Center just for you. • Internship interviews now include mandatory duel to the death • ReadMe so funny that they invented CMU to house it. • Ambitious professor covers 437 slides in a single lecture. • Loving Couple LARP as bitter, nearly-separated divorcees • Scotty Survivor participants go full Lord of the Flies. Show banned in three states and also Khazakhstan • CMU endorses homelessness as a viable solution to rising competition in on-campus housing
![Coming soon...[readme logo with "uncensored" stamp] Sex! Drugs! Unedited fanfics! Be on the lookout for "readme, UNCENSORED"!](/media/vol1/issue6/images/readmeporn_KQtgXt5.png)
