Woman with 17,000 tinder matches gets her accounted deleted, makes a grinder account instead • i have two calculators in my backpack and im ashamed • CMU students take Pitt finals: “It’s nice to be good at something” • Can President Joe Biden please presidentially pardon my AIV? • "What do you mean they don't know the difference between wet layup and prepreg?" CMU students shocked by lackluster carbon fiber fabrication knowledge of average person • REPORT: Tuition increase announced, will to be used for "absolutely nothing", admin says • Carnegie Mellon unveils plans to make second, shittier donner • Report: Voices in your head usually correct, studies show • Forbes Avenue Jehova's Witnesses will be performing in Greek Sing 2025 • DeviantArt, Conservapedia, and Other Websites We Don't Know Why We're Tagged In • CMU students surprised to find out nobody cares how little they slept • If you don't read this magazine, we'll shoot this Scotty Dog • My Professor Had One Comment After Viewing My Final Project: “This Sucks” • Chartwells pilots innovative Sustenance-as-a-Service model • Excessive lead found in the food and water of JFC • USNews names CMU number 1 school named after Andrew Carnegie and Andrew Mellon for the 125th year in a row • Carnegie Mellon color no longer the concept of plaid • "I had no clue he was gay," Leonardo DaVinci's third apprentice twink claims • Classic 90s songs we've all forgotten: 1. I Just Got An Abortion (And It Felt So Good) • My Military Industrial Complex could totally blow up your Military Industrial Complex • They may take our lives, but they'll NEVER take our US NEWS rankings! • Rope and stool salesmen loitering outside particularly difficult finals • I don't know how to spell Renassance either, French people assure us • Artificial Intelligence trained by CMU students gains sentience, immediately kills itself • Deer given proper therapy and antidepressants significantly less likely to freeze in front of cars • Everyone still remembers that time you pulled several times on a push door. Everyone • New show “Nothing in this room is cake please stop cutting my stuff in half” is a Netflix sensation • How to feng shui your killdozer • Shocking new scandal breaks as leaked report reveals Tim Walz saved puppy from drowning • President's Advisory Board on Student Well-Being, Mental Health, and the Academic Experience releases first report: "It's bad." • Grand Reopening of Architect's leap in the leadup to finals week • Buggy steroid use on raceday: an investigation • Enemy surrenders; no match for roboclub killing machines • SLICE defends university-sanctioned orgies • Wildlife conservation group takes "CMU English Major" off of endangered species list following recordsetting 7 students enrolled • Supreme Court overturns Naughty List affirmative action • Amid mental health crisis, Google image searches for “scary werewolf” outnumber searches for “silly dog” • "I'm still alive guys," Elvis, 1978 • Buzzfeed.com: Top 10 Times you looked in the mirror and saw your mother’s face and asked yourself if you’re doomed to repeat your parents mistakes • Nets placed under Pausch Bridge to remind CMU students that suicide is always an option • Woman with 17,000 tinder matches gets her accounted deleted, makes a grinder account instead • i have two calculators in my backpack and im ashamed. • CMU students take Pitt finals: “It’s nice to be good at something”. • Can President Joe Biden please presidentially pardon my AIV? • "What do you mean they don't know the difference between wet layup and prepreg?" CMU students shocked by lackluster carbon fiber fabrication knowledge of average person. • REPORT: Tuition increase announced, will to be used for "absolutely nothing", admin says • Carnegie Mellon unveils plans to make second, shittier donner • Report: Voices in your head usually correct, studies show. • Forbes Avenue Jehova's Witnesses will be performing in Greek Sing 2025 • DeviantArt, Conservapedia, and Other Websites We Don't Know Why We're Tagged In • CMU students surprised to find out nobody cares how little they slept • If you don't read this magazine, we'll shoot this Scotty Dog. • My Professor Had One Comment After Viewing My Final Project: “This Sucks” • Chartwells pilots innovative Sustenance-as-a-Service model. • Excessive lead found in the food and water of JFC • USNews names CMU number 1 school named after Andrew Carnegie and Andrew Mellon for the 125th year in a row • Carnegie Mellon color no longer the concept of plaid • "I had no clue he was gay," Leonardo DaVinci's third apprentice twink claims. • Classic 90s songs we've all forgotten: 1. I Just Got An Abortion (And It Felt So Good) • My Military Industrial Complex could totally blow up your Military Industrial Complex • They may take our lives, but they'll NEVER take our US NEWS rankings! • Rope and stool salesmen loitering outside particularly difficult finals • I don't know how to spell Renassance either, French people assure us. • Artificial Intelligence trained by CMU students gains sentience, immediately kills itself • Deer given proper therapy and antidepressants significantly less likely to freeze in front of cars. • Everyone still remembers that time you pulled several times on a push door. Everyone. • New show “Nothing in this room is cake please stop cutting my stuff in half” is a Netflix sensation • How to feng shui your killdozer • Shocking new scandal breaks as leaked report reveals Tim Walz saved puppy from drowning • President's Advisory Board on Student Well-Being, Mental Health, and the Academic Experience releases first report: "It's bad." • Grand Reopening of Architect's leap in the leadup to finals week • Buggy steroid use on raceday: an investigation • Enemy surrenders; no match for roboclub killing machines. • SLICE defends university-sanctioned orgies • Wildlife conservation group takes "CMU English Major" off of endangered species list following recordsetting 7 students enrolled • Supreme Court overturns Naughty List affirmative action. • Amid mental health crisis, Google image searches for “scary werewolf” outnumber searches for “silly dog” • "I'm still alive guys," Elvis, 1978 • Buzzfeed.com: Top 10 Times you looked in the mirror and saw your mother’s face and asked yourself if you’re doomed to repeat your parents mistakes. • Nets placed under Pausch Bridge to remind CMU students that suicide is always an option
![[TODO]](/media/vol4/issue5/images/manwithknifehand_01NbpPq.png)
!["Can you solve this puzzle? Fill in the blanks and return to the HUB to win a secret prize!" [A copy of the CMU withdrawal form: "Complete this form if you intend to leave Carnegie Mellon with no intention to return."]](/media/vol2/issue7/images/withdrawal_JpsfyiD.png)
We have some absolutely riveting chess gameplay between RandomBot and Saffron here today. In the first game of RandomBot's career, they put up a courageous fight against a rotating chess veteran, managing to promote a pawn, defend from queen-rook mate, thwart rook freedom, and prevent checkmate throughout the seventeen and …
Readme financial officer Benner Rogers has stepped forward with the reason why Readme has recently filed for chapter 15 bankruptcy.