Complete works of Saphho discovered in a Home Depot • Professor Iliano Cervesato applies for an RA position in E-Tower following Carnegie Cup Cheating Allegations • MAHA movement vows to move Stack'd off-campus to lower student obesity • New CaPS meeting locations include ledges, bridges, and intersections • Carnegie Mellon police to be given tank to deal with unruly freshmen • Local first-year unable to use restroom without the lulling of reels from adjacent stalls • Yet another Tepper startup discovered to be overly complex Ponzi Scheme • i have two calculators in my backpack and im ashamed • EMS attempts to tackle STDs, declares immediate victory • REPORT: If Kamala really wanted my vote, she wouldn’t’ve made me late to class • President Jahanian renames Office of Community Responsibility to Department of War • Courses to begin offering bonus points for students willing to let TAs heckle them while they take the exam • Reviewing Cathleen, Adam, their real estate business, their “bless this mess” wooden sign, and their three sons Craig, Creg, and Craigë • Is that Nazi salute or is Elon Musk just happy to see me? • Why the liberal left wants to make the face in the electrical outlets smiley instead of frowny • White boy SHOCKS locals by speaking in fluent Chinese accent • Carnegie Mellon attempts to renovate mousehole in less than two years • The existential horror of nap time: A retrospective • “It’s actually a metaphor for being reeeaaalllly hungry.” author, on cannibalism • Engineering of murder too well set up; MechE majors absolved • Parents devastated after conversion therapy causes teen to lose interest in computer science • CMU Administration shocked why students are still sad, "We gave you guys a Carnival?" • Paddington 2 makes Citizen Kane look like Paddington 1 • "What do you mean they don't know the difference between wet layup and prepreg?" CMU students shocked by lackluster carbon fiber fabrication knowledge of average person • Women breaking glass ceiling suffering head lacerations • I'm not going to do it, but it would be SO easy to kill my roommate, several report • The Underground meets newest competitor, the Aboveceiling • DeviantArt, Conservapedia, and Other Websites We Don't Know Why We're Tagged In • Pennsylvania state law deems any number greater than 100 “frankly too many” • Admin continues to insist that you can't spell anything else with the letters C, M, and U • Wildlife conservation group takes "CMU English Major" off of endangered species list following recordsetting 7 students enrolled • "1929 will be my year" says man who invested all his money into Wall Street • How to Increase your home's retail value by NOT murdering people in it • Scotch 'n Soda coffin appropriated for student school spirit • Rabbi hot?! • Tucker Carlson finally proposes to Green M&M • Buzzfeed.com: Top 10 Times you looked in the mirror and saw your mother’s face and asked yourself if you’re doomed to repeat your parents mistakes • Dennis Prager won’t stop impregnating our country’s petite gay men causing national twink shortage • Administration to build new Student Academic Failure Center just for you • Worst performing suicide bomber of 2025 enters second year on job • Complete works of Saphho discovered in a Home Depot • Professor Iliano Cervesato applies for an RA position in E-Tower following Carnegie Cup Cheating Allegations. • MAHA movement vows to move Stack'd off-campus to lower student obesity • New CaPS meeting locations include ledges, bridges, and intersections • Carnegie Mellon police to be given tank to deal with unruly freshmen. • Local first-year unable to use restroom without the lulling of reels from adjacent stalls • Yet another Tepper startup discovered to be overly complex Ponzi Scheme • i have two calculators in my backpack and im ashamed. • EMS attempts to tackle STDs, declares immediate victory • REPORT: If Kamala really wanted my vote, she wouldn’t’ve made me late to class • President Jahanian renames Office of Community Responsibility to Department of War. • Courses to begin offering bonus points for students willing to let TAs heckle them while they take the exam. • Reviewing Cathleen, Adam, their real estate business, their “bless this mess” wooden sign, and their three sons Craig, Creg, and Craigë. • Is that Nazi salute or is Elon Musk just happy to see me? • Why the liberal left wants to make the face in the electrical outlets smiley instead of frowny • White boy SHOCKS locals by speaking in fluent Chinese accent. • Carnegie Mellon attempts to renovate mousehole in less than two years • The existential horror of nap time: A retrospective • “It’s actually a metaphor for being reeeaaalllly hungry.” author, on cannibalism • Engineering of murder too well set up; MechE majors absolved. • Parents devastated after conversion therapy causes teen to lose interest in computer science. • CMU Administration shocked why students are still sad, "We gave you guys a Carnival?" • Paddington 2 makes Citizen Kane look like Paddington 1. • "What do you mean they don't know the difference between wet layup and prepreg?" CMU students shocked by lackluster carbon fiber fabrication knowledge of average person. • Women breaking glass ceiling suffering head lacerations • I'm not going to do it, but it would be SO easy to kill my roommate, several report. • The Underground meets newest competitor, the Aboveceiling • DeviantArt, Conservapedia, and Other Websites We Don't Know Why We're Tagged In • Pennsylvania state law deems any number greater than 100 “frankly too many” • Admin continues to insist that you can't spell anything else with the letters C, M, and U. • Wildlife conservation group takes "CMU English Major" off of endangered species list following recordsetting 7 students enrolled • "1929 will be my year" says man who invested all his money into Wall Street. • How to Increase your home's retail value by NOT murdering people in it. • Scotch 'n Soda coffin appropriated for student school spirit • Rabbi hot?! • Tucker Carlson finally proposes to Green M&M. • Buzzfeed.com: Top 10 Times you looked in the mirror and saw your mother’s face and asked yourself if you’re doomed to repeat your parents mistakes. • Dennis Prager won’t stop impregnating our country’s petite gay men causing national twink shortage • Administration to build new Student Academic Failure Center just for you. • Worst performing suicide bomber of 2025 enters second year on job.
In 1967, an offshore platform in the North Sea was seized by a pirate radio operator. This would become the Principality of Sealand, an unrecognized micronation. Recently, CMU's administration was struck with inspiration, and decided to secede from the United States, to form its own micronation.