Women breaking glass ceilings suffer head lacerations • Admin continues to insist that you can't spell anything else with the letters C, M, and U • Two women argue about twins, King Solomon demands both be cut in half • Intro to Religion Course Deadline Drops; Whole Class Converts to Judiasm • CMU students sign up for isolation experiments to find quiet study spots • CMU partners with CMR to release 60mph mobility scooter • CMU to sponsor "Twelve-Hours-Straight-Of-Drinking" event to get rid of stigma that we are a nerd school • DeviantArt, Conservapedia, and Other Websites We Don't Know Why We're Tagged In • Future generation invents pants that are baggy in six new dimensions • CMU football wins ten consecutive Heismans, CMU students still not going to games • King Solomon Attempts to divide up twins, mother requests they're both cut in half • Tripping out in Roberts Engineering Hall • Artificial Intelligence trained by CMU students gains sentience, immediately kills itself • School of Computer Science puts funding toward public transit; installs tram line on the Gates spiral • Internship interviews now include mandatory duel to the death • Top 10 CMU buildings I'd pick up if I were Godzilla • Linguists invent new slur for couples • Tartan slanders innocent billionaire, more at 11 • Environmentally conscious student group suggests switching to sustainable walkby shootings • Victorian Child unimpressed by current labor standards, "You can't do anything these days!" • Women breaking glass ceiling suffering head lacerations • I met Santa Claus, she's black • Man showing off new AI model really wants you to stop asking questions about ethics • The Tartan purchased by Fox News, Sean Hannity to take over as Editor-in-Chief • "I had no clue he was gay," Leonardo DaVinci's third apprentice twink claims • Dog doesn't solve relationship, couple moves on to children • "It's not imposter syndrome, we did admit you as a mistake" admissions office admits • SLICE defends university-sanctioned orgies • “I’ve been conducting for 17 years straight now,” says former Eurhythmics student. “I’ve seen God, and she breathes at 62 bpm” • Shocking new scandal breaks as leaked report reveals Tim Walz saved puppy from drowning • How to choose the most poetic sequence of four groups to persecute • The nutritional benefits of eating this newspaper • Gelt still more real than crypto • Student who once contemplated an evening of selfcare and early sleep now facing the consequences of shitty time management • Carnegie Mellon color no longer the concept of plaid • We lowballed our CMU tuition on Facebook Marketplace • OPINION: First, it was a Masters. Now, you need a Ph.D. before they let you fuck the computers • Amid mental health crisis, Google image searches for “scary werewolf” outnumber searches for “silly dog” • Incoming SCS welcome packet now includes map of showers on campus • Tucker Carlson finally proposes to Green M&M • Women breaking glass ceilings suffer head lacerations • Admin continues to insist that you can't spell anything else with the letters C, M, and U. • Two women argue about twins, King Solomon demands both be cut in half. • Intro to Religion Course Deadline Drops; Whole Class Converts to Judiasm. • CMU students sign up for isolation experiments to find quiet study spots • CMU partners with CMR to release 60mph mobility scooter. • CMU to sponsor "Twelve-Hours-Straight-Of-Drinking" event to get rid of stigma that we are a nerd school • DeviantArt, Conservapedia, and Other Websites We Don't Know Why We're Tagged In • Future generation invents pants that are baggy in six new dimensions • CMU football wins ten consecutive Heismans, CMU students still not going to games. • King Solomon Attempts to divide up twins, mother requests they're both cut in half. • Tripping out in Roberts Engineering Hall • Artificial Intelligence trained by CMU students gains sentience, immediately kills itself • School of Computer Science puts funding toward public transit; installs tram line on the Gates spiral • Internship interviews now include mandatory duel to the death • Top 10 CMU buildings I'd pick up if I were Godzilla. • Linguists invent new slur for couples. • Tartan slanders innocent billionaire, more at 11. • Environmentally conscious student group suggests switching to sustainable walkby shootings • Victorian Child unimpressed by current labor standards, "You can't do anything these days!" • Women breaking glass ceiling suffering head lacerations • I met Santa Claus, she's black. • Man showing off new AI model really wants you to stop asking questions about ethics. • The Tartan purchased by Fox News, Sean Hannity to take over as Editor-in-Chief • "I had no clue he was gay," Leonardo DaVinci's third apprentice twink claims. • Dog doesn't solve relationship, couple moves on to children. • "It's not imposter syndrome, we did admit you as a mistake" admissions office admits • SLICE defends university-sanctioned orgies • “I’ve been conducting for 17 years straight now,” says former Eurhythmics student. “I’ve seen God, and she breathes at 62 bpm” • Shocking new scandal breaks as leaked report reveals Tim Walz saved puppy from drowning • How to choose the most poetic sequence of four groups to persecute • The nutritional benefits of eating this newspaper • Gelt still more real than crypto. • Student who once contemplated an evening of selfcare and early sleep now facing the consequences of shitty time management • Carnegie Mellon color no longer the concept of plaid • We lowballed our CMU tuition on Facebook Marketplace • OPINION: First, it was a Masters. Now, you need a Ph.D. before they let you fuck the computers. • Amid mental health crisis, Google image searches for “scary werewolf” outnumber searches for “silly dog” • Incoming SCS welcome packet now includes map of showers on campus • Tucker Carlson finally proposes to Green M&M.
![[TODO]](/media/vol4/issue6/images/liminal_Wf5b1Kv.png)
![A photo taken with a smartphone camera at night of one of the sculptures of a person at the base of walking to the sky, with harsh front-camera selfie lighting. A Snapchat-style text overlay reads: "Nooo don't walk to the sky, your [sic] so sexy ahaha"](/media/vol4/issue3/images/walktoskysexy_Wl0KjRf.png)
![[TODO]](/media/vol3/issue2/images/homunculi_CwbpHdP.png)