Readme Summer School

CMU student lives in a barrel, claims it's better than first year housing • Zeno’s Paradox Reason Why Our Sports Teams Suck • Scotch 'n Soda coffin appropriated for student school spirit • CMU endorses homelessness as a viable solution to rising competition in on-campus housing • Christmas Wishes Granted: CEO Shot • Wind storm politely opens door, walks inside CMU building, and breaks every computer • I'm not going to do it, but it would be SO easy to kill my roommate, several report • ReadMe bigger than Beatles, says Jesus • Wildlife conservation group takes "CMU English Major" off of endangered species list following record­setting 7 students enrolled • Complete works of Saphho discovered in a Home Depot • CIT student's "new kicks" deemed "too swag" by the administration • In Farnam's absence, students erect golden Scotty Dog statue • Meteoric rise in Carnegie Mellon's name recognition: Record-breaking 3% of the population knows what CMU is, up from 1.8% in 2020 • Dog doesn't solve relationship, couple moves on to children • Student Senate Elections Board excited to see more students than ever interesting in voting them out • In catastrophic scheduling snafu, every club at CMU has scheduled a meeting for the exact same time and date; "we really couldn't have predicted this", says student who scheduled a GBM for 5 pm on a Monday • "Exciting new internship abroad!" says ROTC • Florida legalizes abortion “if the fetus shows early signs of ‘a homosexual disposition’” • “I have no way of knowing”, says person who could very easily look it up • Armed Martial Arts Clubs' Membership Skyrockets as new policy allows students to challenge AIVs by dueling • CMU student lives in a barrel, claims it's better than first year housing • Zeno’s Paradox Reason Why Our Sports Teams Suck • Scotch 'n Soda coffin appropriated for student school spirit • CMU endorses homelessness as a viable solution to rising competition in on-campus housing • Christmas Wishes Granted: CEO Shot. • Wind storm politely opens door, walks inside CMU building, and breaks every computer. • I'm not going to do it, but it would be SO easy to kill my roommate, several report. • ReadMe bigger than Beatles, says Jesus. • Wildlife conservation group takes "CMU English Major" off of endangered species list following record­setting 7 students enrolled • Complete works of Saphho discovered in a Home Depot • CIT student's "new kicks" deemed "too swag" by the administration • In Farnam's absence, students erect golden Scotty Dog statue • Meteoric rise in Carnegie Mellon's name recognition: Record-breaking 3% of the population knows what CMU is, up from 1.8% in 2020. • Dog doesn't solve relationship, couple moves on to children. • Student Senate Elections Board excited to see more students than ever interesting in voting them out • In catastrophic scheduling snafu, every club at CMU has scheduled a meeting for the exact same time and date; "we really couldn't have predicted this", says student who scheduled a GBM for 5 pm on a Monday. • "Exciting new internship abroad!" says ROTC. • Florida legalizes abortion “if the fetus shows early signs of ‘a homosexual disposition’” • “I have no way of knowing”, says person who could very easily look it up • Armed Martial Arts Clubs' Membership Skyrockets as new policy allows students to challenge AIVs by dueling