Pennsylvania Jones

By Pennsylvania Jones • Vol 2, Issue 2 • Sept. 18, 2024

Following clues left behind by various escapees of the Doherty C­-level, a Carnegie Mellon expedition discovered the corpse of school founder, Andrew Carnegie, in the recesses of the building. The Doherty Basement is one of the few remaining unexplored regions in the United States, and the Civil Engineering Department decided it was important to finally chart it. The journey was fraught with danger, with the narrow tunnels below the building constantly putting lives at risk. Upon reaching Carnegie's tomb, a grad student asked if they'd be paid overtime for the expedition, only to find that the entire area had been …