Nott N. Annagramm
it/its
Staffwriter
Fucking with Farnam Jahanian, 2029
Bio
I am a collective hallucination
Fun fact
I was born from a dream Farnam had after eating too much at Schatz
Location
Farnam’s dreams (and yours if you read my articles)
Latest
Stop Calling Your Parents So Late At Night, You Whiny Little Bitch
It’s the middle of the night and you feel like shit. Maybe it’s 1 a.m., and you just realized there was something due at midnight. Maybe you’re being kept awake by your fifth cold in three weeks. Maybe it just hit that you actually kinda sorta miss home a little. Whatever the circumstance, the sun has set and you feel like the steaming hot pile of garbage outside Donner. Naturally, the best solution is to call your parents, right? WRONG. And if you thought that for even a moment, then the only reason you should be anywhere near CMU is …
Students Rush to Graduate as End of World Looms
DECEMBER 20, 2012 - While CMU students have always tried to graduate in less than 8 semesters, only the quickly approaching demise of all life on Earth could incentivize even the most burnt out underachievers to get their degree before spring. Despite astronomers’ insistence that Sagittarius A* is too far away to cause any gravitational disruptions, professors are still drowning in capstones about how said black hole affects the futures of every single major. “Grading is somehow more repetitive than usual,” states one anonymous TA. “There’s usually some variety, but when we’re all gonna die tomorrow, that’s the only thing …