House Plant
she/her
Staffwriter
Chemical Engineering, 2029
Bio
House Plant was bought by your mom and placed in direct sunlight yesterday. She's already dehydrated. Unlike Pinocchio, she wishes she wasn't real, and indulges in escapism via investigative journalism.
Fun fact
Though not the same as Planty the Potted Plant, they did debate together in high school.
Location
Your Nightstand
Latest
Researchers discover brief existence of Marnegie Cellon
Scientists have been studying unusual patterns of molecules in space for decades now, which tend to be artifacts of well-known universal phenomena, like supernovas.
However, one of the latest studies of these molecular “fingerprints” has yielded a result far more surprising than anyone could have ever imagined: A specific arrangement of particles that must have been an exact replica of Carnegie Mellon floating free in space some couple million years ago.
If that seems impossible, you’re not alone. Dr. Fizicks Nuerhd was startled, too, but explains that while incredibly unlikely, it is fully possible for random atoms floating …
Fruity Take on CMU Housing
Back when Welch's was just a grape juice company, Andrew Carnegie was their biggest fan. In fact, in 1905, he built the beloved Welch House in the company's honor (and for a very generous donation) similarly to the Giant Eagle Auditorium or the Trojan Center for the Performing Arts.
Unfortunately, despite Welch House's small capacity, Carnegie's small trade school of white men did not have enough people to fill the dorm. After years of Welch House sitting empty, the 1969 CMU president H. Cortland Matthews decided to get creative.
In the golden age of communism and good guitar …