A 3-panel comic. In the first panel, one person says "wanna come see a cool feature of my dorm?". Another person labeled "oblivious freshman" says "sure!". in the second panel, the first person opens a door labeled with a biohazard sign, and the freshman is shown with a confused question-mark sign. The third panel depicts a shower curtain covered in black mold. The upperclassman asks "aren't you excited for CMU housing?", to which the freshman replies "wtf".

Paid for by: Foreign assets, illegal wire transfers, and money order

Editor-in-Chief: Eshaan Joshi

All the news unfit to print!

Pitch meetings Sat 5:00 pm, DH-1211

Based on a true-ish story.

// Ethan Sterkeson • Vol 4, Issue 1 • Aug. 27, 2025