We're broke
Today, Readme spent the last of our meager budget purchasing kibble from PetSmart to stave off the death throes of one of our small, orphaned staffwriters. On our way out of the PetSmart, we were attacked by a man with a knife who took all of our print quota, forcing us to outsource this issue’s printing to one of our parents. To put it simply, we are pitiful, abject, and loathsome. Please give us money. Even a penny would go a long way; we need copper to fix the wires for the 5W generator that powers everything we own, so we can cook our meat (another readme prion attack would be too much to recover from). We would have included below a picture of a cute, poor child to evoke your sympathy and elicit generosity, but we can't even afford that.
Do you want him (us) to die?
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