Traffic Calming Solution
The City of Pittsburgh has released an official statement following questions about PRT’s bus route redesign, which includes retiring a bus line on Fifth Avenue and rerouting affected buses to Forbes Avenue.
“Obviously, there are concerns about safety, given the increased congestion on Forbes Avenue,” said PRT spokesperson Mr. Portss. “That’s pretty much always our number one priority. Fortunately, we were able to draw from the immense talent pool of university students here and hire an intern to come up with a way to deal with this.”
The architect of the solution, a Carnegie Mellon graduate, was eager to explain the solution in detail when contacted for comment. “Basically, the idea is to have land mines placed randomly on the road. Every so often, a car will blow up, which will efficiently reduce the total traffic density. The total number of exploded vehicles can be modeled as a Poisson process, so we can model how many casualties to expect on a given day. It’s really neat!”