Facing your fears: The self-assured squirrel that's four feet in front of you
It happened again. You were leaving the car, walking back home, when you encountered it: a squirrel (let’s call him Squeaky) standing only 4 feet away from you.
You take a step closer. Squeaky does not scurry away. You cower. Squeaky stares you down. You run away.
Does Squeaky have rabies? you ask yourself. No, Squeaky doesn’t. What does Squeaky have? Courage. Gumption. Chutzpah. Probably the confidence to make a phone call. Maybe even the confidence to leave a message.
Shouldn’t this squirrel (let’s call him Sir Nutsworth) be afraid of humans and cars? You are a human that just got out of a car. Surely you are the epitome of Sir Nutsworth’s nightmares. But no, Sir Nutsworth is calmly standing and looking at you with an expression that says, “I had a positive middle school experience.” And you, standing there pathetically, are afraid. Perhaps of Sir Nutsworth. Perhaps of your own ineptitude.
How do you remedy your self-worth when faced with a nonchalant squirrel? Your first instinct may be to insult Sir Nutsworth to make yourself feel better. You might try telling Sir Nutsworth that he sucks at burying acorns and that his colleagues wouldn’t want to run into him at a bar. Since Sir Nutsworth is secure in himself and his acorn burying abilities – and his colleagues all know he is the life of the party – this won’t work.
Instead, remind yourself: you are a CMU student and this squirrel (let’s call him Squirrellock Holmes) is a squirrel. Tell Squirrellock (who is named after his grandfather, not the famed literary detective, if you’d even bothered to ask) how many APs you took in high school. Remember that you’ve won robotics competitions Squirrellock probably hasn’t even heard of. Skillfully bring up in conversations that Squirrellock probably couldn’t handle the number of units you're taking. Make sure that when you are bragging to your friends about how little sleep you get, Squirrellock is within earshot. Be confident. Be daring. Be fearless.
Or just run away. That works too.