Readme's Readme
# README
World-renowned satire magazine at Carnegie Mellon University, published every two weeks, unless we’re feeling particularly funny in which case we skip an issue. Originally a way for founder Gerald Readme to evangelize their hardline Pittsburgh separatist beliefs, it has since turned into a way for students to make the least of their print quota.
Per our out-of-court settlement with the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, Readme is legally interdicted from printing the truth or any part of the truth. As such, owing to their studies, all philosophy majors are disallowed from contributing to the magazine. Students majoring in economics, however, are encouraged to join.
# INSTALL
All Readme magazines may be installed in the user by loading onto their Neuralink with a Flipper Zero. If user does not have a functioning Neuralink, they don’t deserve Readme and should uncontrollably sob in a corner while they reconsider their failure.
# TODO
- Instigate a major conflict between CMU admin and students [ONGOING]
- Install a mall on the Mall and profit
-Step 1: remove all trees [COMPLETED]
- Step 2: kill all grass [UNDERWAY]
- Step 3: defraud a construction company into free labor [LOOKS PROMISING]
- Corner the CMU magazine market through a suspicious series of events implicating The Tartan in an underground meal block–smuggling ring [IN COMMITTEE]
- Seize the means of production, put it all on red
# LICENSE
All Readme articles are licensed under the GNU Anti Memory License, and as such, must be forgotten within ten minutes of being read. Anyone found to be remembering articles for any longer will be forced to become a writer for Readme. This is a threat.
# CONTRIBUTING
Contribute at weekly meetings in DH 1211 on Saturdays at 5:00. For first-timers, we strongly recommend scheduling a session with either CaPS or Pausch Bridge (your choice) immediately following the meeting.