Readme financial officer Benner Rogers has stepped forward with the reason why Readme has recently filed for chapter 15 bankruptcy.
“It’s because of all the crude oil we’re buying”. She says.
Crude oil, which is $1.70 per gallon at the time of writing this article, has recently seen a market dip of 9.3% over the past month, the lowest it’s been all year. Rogers reports that the dip has allowed Readme to purchase thousands of gallons of crude oil for their climate acceleration plan.
“It’s the reason why we’re broke, but it’s also the reason why we’re so glad we’re broke. Because we can do what readme was originally assembled to do”.
The rEadme climate acceleration plan, a plan which is outlined in a 90000 page document, spanning 3 CMU students’ Google drive accounts, is a plan to exacerbate the effects of humans on the global environment.
“We’re not denying climate change exists, we see its effects all over the globe. We’re trying to bring its full effects into existence. I don’t know about you, but being able to fry an egg on the sidewalk over the summer has been saving me so much in electricity bills.”
Editor-in-chief Eshaan Joshi refused to comment on the matter.
