The Readme crime report isn’t just focused just on the happenings on campus, we are also well connected to the city around us! In this issue of the crime report, we at readme present to you the most serious news from Pittsburgh. This is definitely not because we ran out of crime material on campus.
Election Plinko Causes Confusion
Pittsburgh city officials were in a state of confusion when it was discovered that all electoral ballots were somehow replaced one to one with mini plinko machines. These plinko machines had the point values replaced with political parties. When city officials tested the devices, it was discovered that certain plinko machines were missing pegs. As of right now, there is no sign of the culprit who has scampered off with the ballots.
Voter Fraud Ring Caught Before Elections
A large-scale voter fraud ring for the Holiday Window Display competition has been busted recently by the City of Pittsburgh. It was discovered five hundred people were voting multiple times under multiple names online and in person in the beloved competition. The city vows to crack down on voter fraud this upcoming holiday season to make sure this does not happen again.
Pittsburgh Signs Now Read Pitsburg
In a recent discovery by city officials, 81.3% of signs, flyers and posters mentioning Pittsburgh are now spelled, Pitsburg. Some of these signs were more subtle, replacing the sign with a new one misspelling the city. Other signs simply had the city name crossed out and replaced with Pitsburg in shoddily written handwriting. It was only noticed when government buildings also became misspelled. Several Pittsburgh native confessed they had seen the changes, but didn’t care enough to bring it up. Some citizens have suggested renaming the city to Pitsburg. Officials are currently discussing the matter. Until then, the signs will remain up.
