Quarantine after Pgh Connections Trip
The Office of Community Engagement and Leadership Development recently sponsored a kayaking trip on the Allegheny River for incoming freshmen. While it was overall successful (97% retention rate), some students had a bit of a scuffle with some geese while out on the water. Chaperones noted that three or four boats had fallen somewhat behind, and it was unclear what was causing the delay. One junior reported, “I could see the boats rocking back and forth, feathers were flying in the air, and a few minutes later we heard a splash. On the bus back, some of the people from those boats were saying they got bitten by the geese, and now they felt sick. As soon as we got back to campus, Health Services rushed them off the bus and we haven’t seen them since. Though, I swear I saw their necks lengthening over the half hour ride back. Probably nothing, though.”
CMU’s Health Services released this statement: “On Saturday, we had to quarantine 8 students due to waterborne gastrointestinal illness. We expect them to make a quick recovery. In the meantime, they will be provided with all necessary materials to continue their studies, which are of utmost importance. If you hear squawking sounds coming from the quarantine area, this is just the sound of students in excruciating pain. Similarly, the feathers scattered around the building are from a spontaneous pillow fight because the students are bored, not because of any wild animals running around the campus. That would be ridiculous.”
Readme investigators have been unable to reach any quarantined students, receiving only honking and a sound similar to wing flapping when calls were answered. When a Readme journalist attempted to find the quarantine room, they were pointed in the direction of what appeared to be an indoor wild fowl enclosure.