Optimal Conditions for Black Mold Farming
Abstract
Black mold (Stachybotrys chartarum) is a fungus known to grow in apartment buildings rented out to college students by slum lords. This phenomenon is usually absent from buildings with proper ventilation systems, begging the question: how could black mold be grown in a dorm room? Many of the conditions required for the promotion of mold growth are already present in a dorm room. The main deficiency, however, is adequate moisture. Hence, most of this study focused on increasing the moisture content of a standard dorm room. Multiple methods were tested for increasing the moisture content of a dorm room such as clogging air vents with chewing gum, stealing water vapor from showers, and utilizing air humidifiers. Our study succeeded in finding optimal mold growth conditions, and as a matter of fact, all the surfaces were covered in mold.
Methods
All conditions necessary for black mold growth are naturally present in dorm rooms at Carnegie Mellon University with the exception of sufficient moisture. Hence, this study focused specifically on increasing the moisture content of a dorm room. A common method in which standard building codes deal with moisture content in rooms is by mandating proper ventilation. Such requirements go against the needs of mold farmers and must consequently be disabled. In this study, every dorm room was broken into via air vent to confirm the presence of an air vent – with 100% confidence, each room had one. In order to create optimal moisture conditions for mold growth, chewing gum was used to clog air vents, resulting in a 237% increase in air moisture.
The moisture content observed in the experimental room was sufficient for black mold growth, but not optimal. More moisture was necessary from external sources. Many dorm rooms are directly connected to bathrooms, which are a major source of moisture, especially during a shower. In such dorm rooms, the door separating the dorm room and bathroom can just be left open when showering to increase moisture even further. If such an arrangement is not present, putting a shit ton of air humidifiers in your room might work. The maximum moisture content we managed to achieve in this study was 507% the moisture content of the original. This was sufficient moisture for ideal black mold growth. In fact, black mold ended up covering all open surfaces in the dorm room, and by our metrics, this study was beyond successful. The scientific and medical outcomes for this will be phenomenal. Absolutely tremendous.
Conclusion
Dorm-based black mold cultivation is a promising field with many potential benefits to tomfoolery and accidentally killing your roommate with significant fungal allergies. This study also serves as a great jumping-off point for future research regarding other types of fungal cultivation in a dorm room. We believe that this study will empower students to become hobbyist mycologists who might go on to solve the ever pressing issue plaguing Carnegie Mellon’s Campus: It is well known that CMU has a drug problem – where are all the drugs?