readme was nominated for several dozen awards over the last week, including several "Best News Source" awards for their coverage of the War in Vietnam. Unfortunately, after the Pullitzer committee discovered the Vietnam War ended in the 70s, and readme was just two asian guys in the UC at 4 in the morning, all the awards were revoked, and the prize money confiscated. With midterm season over, readme staffers have begun to feel joy and some emotions other than stress and pain. However, they've also stopped being funny, so the editorial staff has started employing torture methods like the ones used in Guantanamo Bay. We thank the Obama administration for introducing us to such cutting edge techniques. The rapidly approaching Spring Break has also caused quite a stir in the office, as the light at the end of the tunnel has gotten several readme writers to gnaw off their chains and escape into the wilderness. If anyone spots someone attempting to be funny, please call us immediately. They may need to be put down. Finally, readme is getting bored with the lack of controversial opinions, and is proud to announce a "America's most racist relatives" competition. If your grandma knows one too many slurs, send us her contact info, and we'll make her famous. All this, and more, in...
