It's Gone
2:33 PM
It’s the day before printing. Time to finally write that article the editor-in-chief keeps asking me for. Let me just check the pitch tracker to see what I’m supposed to write about… huh, it’s just a blank spot next to my name. That’s weird. Our secretary’s usually pretty good at his job, and everyone else has a pitch. Oh well, guess I’ll just have to slack off for a couple more hours.
4:09 PM
I messaged the editor-in-chief, and he said I wasn’t writing anything for this issue. I swear I was tagged in the browbeating, but I went back to check and my name wasn’t there. He also said I wasn’t at the most recent pitch meeting. I know I was there, but I don’t particularly remember anything that happened in it. I’ll just hope it’s not an error on their end. 9:06 PM I decided to check for articles in need of editing, but the shared drive wasn’t there. I opened Discord to ask if I was accidentally removed, but the server wasn’t there either. As a last resort, I emailed the editor-in-chief. This was the reply I got back: “Who are you? I would never run a satire newspaper here. It would compete with our beloved Tartan – our incredible student news organization that has both incredible journalism and biting wit! You should join us instead if you’re interested.”
4:45 AM
I’ve been up all night – I don’t care if there are classes tomorrow, I need to solve this, whatever “this” is. I’ve been searching for some kind of evidence, but I don’t know where to look or what to look for. I kept gravitating towards the Wean Hall computing clusters for some reason, but a custodian asked me to leave. Every building is closed now. I give up.
11:27 AM
I wake up in my own bed. It feels unsettling for some reason, even though I’ve lived here for as long as I can remember. My mom walks in. “Gee, you sure slept in! Are you ready for breakfast?” I bolt upright. “Oh God, I missed a lecture! And I’m gonna be late for first year writing!” The words seem so natural leaving my lips even though I don’t understand them. My mom looks confused. “What, did you have a nightmare about college? No wonder you decided not to apply!”