A College Student's Guide to saving money
As I wrap up my first semester of college, I have begun to reflect on all of the new experiences and people I have met. One of these is “poor people”. College has exposed me to a breadth of new experiences and I have realized some people are in the unfortunate position of being “broke”. Because of this, I have compiled my top money saving tips.
I hope that this can help some unfortunate people, especially my roommate who I caught re-wearing outfits.
Phones are rechargeable
I used to buy a new cellular phone every time mine died. This was costing me thousands of dollars every month. Then my genius roommate showed me that you can “recharge” phones and use them again and again. My current streak is 10 days on this phone.
Consider cooking on your own
I used to have my private chef cook all 3 meals for me 7 days a week. However, I then discovered “cooking”. This is a very hard thing to do, so I consider this an advanced money saving technique. However, I have now progressed to using the “microwave” to heat up extra food from dinner, I find that adding caviar to “leftovers” makes them palatable. Because of this, I no longer need my chef to make my breakfast on the weekends.
Use toilet paper
I used to wipe my ass with twenty dollar bills. However, my roommate just introduced me to this magical thing called toilet paper. It’s way softer than dollar bills, and I think it’s cheaper. I would highly recommend.
Sell your holiday gifts
Parents can be quite forgetful. My dad has gifted me three horses in the past year because he keeps forgetting he already got me one. Plus I very clearly told him I want a unicorn. One way to generate “passive income” is to sell off these extra gifts. It can be hard to find a buyer for luxury race horses, but my roommate told me about this website called “ebay” so I might try there.
Renegotiate your butler's salary
While your butler may have agreed to work for $300,000, $30,000 looks basically the same so there’s no way they would notice. Plus they very generously get to live in my father's mansion so they should be grateful for the opportunity.