An unknown Computer Science major has been arrested after reportedly releasing a computer virus across Carnegie Mellon’s campus. The virus targets the Duo Push mobile app, causing it to be triggered whenever a CMU ID card is swiped. If authentication is not performed within sixty seconds, the virus will wipe all data on the device being unlocked or accessed. At the time of writing all dining locations have been shut down, having lost all function of their registers (with the exception of El Gallo de Oro, which has not seen any customers since the initial attack). Riots have been spotted outside of Capital Grains, and Walking to the Sky has been toppled by a mob of enraged students. The statue has been replaced with a newly-erected flagpole flying the crest of Duo Push. Hundreds of undergraduate students have become homeless and have commandeered the UC. President Jahanian has barricaded himself in his office and refuses to comment on the matter. The virus is expected to cost billions of dollars in damages, both physical and emotional.
After a joint investigation between CMUPD, CIA (the buggy team), and the FBI (the actual FBI), it has been reported that the virus was originally downloaded on a desktop in the Wean Computer Lab when a student opened a link in an email with the subject “HOT LANTERNFLIES IN YOUR AREA." Once downloaded, the program quickly emailed itself to students and faculty alike. The Information Security Office declined to be interviewed by README, only stating “We fucking warned you guys about this shit. No one cares about phishing until it releases devastating malware into the robotics department. Well guess what? I quit. Fix this yourselves motherfuckers.”
