The CaPS Division of Student Affairs has published an announcement for a new mental health app this week. The brand new application, available sometime within the next two months, comes after a conclusive study done by Dr. Et Al on the happiness of students on campus. The study, titled “Carnegie Mellon students are sad :( “, discussed the extremely high rates of depression at the university and possible ways to tackle them.
Based on the conclusions of Dr. Et Al’s groundbreaking paper, CaPS has decided to take action to prevent a further decrease in mental health at CMU. The announcement of this new app comes with a preview of its new features, and one in particular has received praise from the student body.
The “salvation option”, as many students have begun to call it, is a button that immediately sends out a transfer request to a randomised university outside of Pittsburgh. Pre-release testing has shown that this new feature is one of the most effective ways to improve a user’s mental health. Beta testers of the app wrote glowing reviews, with one student saying “I can’t believe nobody has thought of this yet, I don’t need to worry about my concepts homework if I’m not taking concepts.” The buzz around the new app is palpable on campus, and CaPS expects an uptick in mental health at CMU in the coming months.
