Founder's Body Found in Doherty
Following clues left behind by various escapees of the
Doherty CĀ-level, a Carnegie Mellon expedition discovered
the corpse of school founder, Andrew Carnegie, in the
recesses of the building. The Doherty Basement is one of
the few remaining unexplored regions in the United States,
and the Civil Engineering Department decided it was
important to finally chart it. The journey was fraught with
danger, with the narrow tunnels below the building
constantly putting lives at risk. Upon reaching Carnegie's
tomb, a grad student asked if they'd be paid overtime for the
expedition, only to find that the entire area had been jury-rigged to collapse if anyone mentioned worker's rights.
Several graduate students lost their lives in the ensuing panic, a cost that Carnegie Mellon deemed "acceptable" and "at least they don't have to pay their salary anymore."