Tag is a certified childhood classic, and everyone knows the rules. However, I have personally found that if you play it enough times, tag quickly becomes boring. Nevertheless, as a center of innovation, mastermind engineers in the halls of the Princeton of the Alleghenies have devised an updated version of this popular game. On Tuesday, September 3rd, 2024, a group of students were seen chasing each other on bicycles in front of Hamerschlag hall in the morning dew. I at first could not believe my eyes, no one was wearing any helmets, and when I questioned these young folks everything began to make perfect sense. These future innovators were playing a sport, which they dubbed ‘bike tag with knives ’ , and the horrendous lack of personal protective equipment was required by the rules. I also couldn ’t help but notice that these students had kitchen knives affixed to their hands via duct tape, and I also questioned the merits of this, but having heard the name of this activity, I nonchalantly understood. I was assured that this activity had resulted in significantly fewer casualties than the first world war[1], which left my anxieties at ease. I was also told that superglue being used to attach the knives to your hands was prohibited, as the glue can irritate your skin and hospitalizations are to be avoided. I was busy that day, so I could not join in the festivity, but some day, I will be a winner, and I am sure of it.
[1] “Killed, wounded, and missing” Encyclopædia Britannica, Encyclopædia Britannica, inc., 7 July 2024, www.britannica.com/event/ WorldWarI/Killedwoundedandmissing.
