Tags: Auntie Readme

Auntie Readme's Advice Column

June 17, 2024, 11:54 p.m.
By: Cindy Gao | Vol 1, Issue 2

The people have asked questions and I, having no knowledge about anything in my head save for a handful of terminally online references, have found it fitting for me to respond as confidently as possible. Here goes!

should i take a job at lockheed martin if they offer me $300k a year 🤔

Military-industrial complex? I find it quite simple, actually. You and I have very different problems and I am unqualified to advise on yours. I direct you to my official Dietrich merch, reading “My major may not make money, but is too impractical to be recruited into the military-industrial complex.”


Has Anyone REALLY Been Far Even as Decided to Use Even Go Want to do Look More Like?

Why do they call it a question when you quest in the cold inquiries quest out hot eat the inquiries?

what's the most efficient way to navigate the store to purchase groceries?

This reads suspiciously like a 15122 assignment and as we all know, the geese report back to Honk and Chonk, who reports back to Iliano. The geese are everywhere. I’m not in the business of getting hit by AIVs before stepping foot in a CS class. Next question!

I want to start a new hobby, what hobbies are good?

Yeah, so speaking of CS majors. Why don’t you mallocate some time away from labs and try out:

what is the best activity to do with someone you don’t know well but are trying to get to know better?

Let’s just say that should you follow my advice in the last portion with an acquaintance, and things were to somehow go wrong (not that I would be held legally responsible, of course), there’s this really well-studied game called the Prisoner’s Dilemma that will tell you a whole lot about a person really quickly. And potentially give you a whole lot of time to yourself to ponder what you learn about them.

what should be next on my reading list?

https://libraryofbabel.info/

This has it all. What was in that skin-bound book you stole from that weird crypt thing in Wean 2 last Monday? Who are the people in dark cloaks following you around? If you hypothetically had to hide from dark, shadowy, eldritch forces, how secure would the CMU sewers be in terms of hiding places? How do you barricade a door? If you get killed by eldritch monsters, do you have to let your readme editor know you’re missing an issue in advance?

For completely unrelated reasons, that’ll be all for this week!