Ranking CMU's presidents
Arthur A. Hamerschlag (1903–1922): As Carnegie Tech's first president, Hamerschlag was a visionary. He oversaw the school's transition from a trade school for young people in industry to a four-year college, which is widely regarded as a mistake. Despite overseeing CMU's original sin, he Hammed his Schlag so hard that this university survived another century, and for that, he deserved to be our first S tier president.
Thomas S. Baker (1922–1935): CMU's official website describes Mr. Baker as "giving Carnegie Tech a chance to breath," a typo which is ironic in light of Baker Hall's close connection with CMU's English department. Baker's most significant improvements to campus seem to have been trees and sidewalks, possibly as an attempt to allow the forest to reclaim campus. An admirable effort, but he's solidly in B tier.
Robert E. Doherty (1936–1950): Doherty took over CMU in the midst of the Great Depression. This would not be CMU's last encounter with depression. Despite his clear leadership in one of the most trying times in American history, including through the Second World War, his name is now primarily associated with the worst building on campus. I put Doherty in B tier.
John Christian Warner (1950–1965): John Warner purified the plutonium for the Manhattan Project. Under Warner's administration, the first business school on CMU's campus opened its doors. The building named after Warner is a monotonous block of brown glass, with a lavish interior clearly deducted directly from students' tuition. John Warner is no friend of mine. D tier.
H. Guyford Stever (1965–1972): As one of CMU's shortest-serving presidents, Stever made an outsized impact. He oversaw the merger between Carnegie Tech and the Mellon Institute, the closing of the women's college, and the creation of four of CMU's seven colleges. Stever starts with an S, and so it's only fair to give him S tier.
Richard M. Cyert (1972–1990): Under Cyert, CMU rose to prominence as a pioneer of computing and a world-class institution. Though his strong vision for the future of CMU was as influential as it was ambitious, he got the short end of the stick with the building given his namesake. Cyert Hall is a building few have entered, and one which will have you asking, "why am I doing this?" This is the same question one would ask in Cyert himself. Overall, Richard Cyert earns a respectable A tier.
Robert Mehrabian (1990–1997): Mehrabian made a highly visible, and highly questionable, mark on the physical layout of campus. Under his supervision, Gesling Stadium was rotated 90° for a second time, the bafflingly designed and wildly overpriced University Center was built, Roberts Engineering Hall grew like a tumor from the western side of Hamerschlag, and the East Campus Garage blighted our campus with car-centric infrastructure. History will not be kind to Robert Mehrabian, and neither will I. C tier.
Jared L. Cohon (1997–2013): Jared Cohon was a guiding force in CMU's growth during one of the most dynamic times in history, overseeing CMU through the rise and fall of pop-punk and mallcore. Cohon has the longest online biography of any CMU president by far, though it has an outsized focus on his personal accomplishments. I do not think it would be controversial to place Cohon firmly in A tier.
Barack Obama (2008–2016): Barack Obama was a flawed president, as many have taken the opportunity to point out, but his message of hope and his clearly voiced support for our nation's best impulses will stand out as a last gasp for normalcy in a flailing democracy. Under Obama's tenure, the Tepper School of Business grew substantially, including through the construction of the Tepper Quad, but little else changed significantly. This might be a controversial take, but I'm putting Obama in B tier.
Farnam Jahanian (2017–Present): Farnam Jahanian is, without question, the best president in CMU history. Farnam has watched over CMU in a time of great growth and change, and has been a stabilizing force in times of distress. I particularly hope that due to my praise, Farnam will personally write off my tuition. S++ tier.