Professionalism in Sexting
Half of you complain about all the horrible new things the youth are up to, and half of you are mad about what they’re not doing. Not one of you ever thinks about what they’re still doing, but doing completely wrong. Sexting has been the cornerstone of our culture for ages, but none of you know how to do it anymore. It’s despicable! It’s shameful! What kind of nation are we if our citizens don’t know the art of seduction?
Sexting used to be an artful exchange between two people. Each person would try to prove their competence to the other by way of respect and clear communication. Back in the day, beginning the discussion with “u up?” would have gotten you blocked faster than you could blink. What ever happened to such classic lines as “Are you likewise awake at this dreadful hour?” Notice how it offers the recipient a chance to commiserate in your misery. This is a key bonding experience! Then, after an exchange of pleasantries, one could tastefully follow up with, “I would like to inquire about your availability with regards to sexual activity.”
I am sure this decline is due to the rise of cell phones and instant messaging apps. When you’re writing a handwritten note, it demands that you consider the effect of every word. Long, well-crafted sexual propositions communicate thoughtfulness in the way that 160 characters never can. Nowadays, these naive, young people look for love that they are unwilling to work for. They can’t conceive the hours we used to spend with our dip pens and quills, inventing fanciful new metaphors for the act of sexual intercourse.