As one of the most reputable sources of news on campus, readme staff took it upon themselves (with only a few threats of violence) to research one of our oldest and most favored traditions — bitching about Carnegie Mellon. While several old letters were uncovered complaining about the homework, the weather, and the lack of sex on campus, several staffers found a small box in the basement of Hunt that included documents dating back to the first ever buggy race. While Carnegie Mellon would like you to believe that Buggy was founded by a group of well meaning fraternity men hoping for a little carnival fun, the documents discovered show that the first ever incident of a buggy race occurred in early 1919, and included just one freshman. Jimmy “Snotnose” Peters, class of 1923, had rushed every single fraternity on campus, much to the annoyance of the brothers. After discovering he planned on continuing the frats until he finally received a bid, the brothers of Delta Delta Delta came up with a plan. They told him that Carnegie Mellon fraternities had a tradition of putting freshmen inside caskets with wheels attached and rolling them down the Frick Park hill. Should he go through with this tradition, Snotnose was promised that he could go to one of Delta Delta Delta’s notorious ragers for fifteen minutes. The young lad was overjoyed, and found himself inside a rather small pine box being rolled up down the hill in the wee hours of April 16th, 1919. After a particularly drunk Delta Delta Delta brother lost control of the casket, it was sent careening into Maggie Mo. Snotnose did not survive, and in his memory, Carnegie Mellon students continue to harass anyone under the height of 5’2” in the hopes of shoving them inside a metal tube. Thus, in memoriam
